Just Be the Baker

I did a practice a few years ago that spawned a HUGE shift in my life. This was a few years ago when I first began working hard on self reflection and coming to know the truth of who I am. Seeing through layers of my public persona facade, and how/why those layers had formed. Once I cleared out old dramas and got in touch with my core essence, my soul, or my base level programming, (whatever you choose to call it) it became very uncomfortable for me to “act” like anything else besides who I truly was. And yet I had been living my whole life up until then through this alter ego which had developed to protect my true inside vulnerable self.

When we experience big life changes like this, how do we make the shift? How to drop all of the old and be new...the real me? Do you make an announcement? Like, “ahem, may I have your attention? hello, friends and family. I know you think you know & love me, but how I present vs who I really am are rather different it turns out. Let me unveil and introduce you to the real me. I hope you like her.” 😬🤞🏾 That seemed awkward and I couldn’t figure out how to make this shift.

As I chatted back then about this with my Man, who is truly my life guide 🙏🏽, he suggested something that seemed radical to me at the time - that I just start being the real me. There was no need to make an announcement or to label myself from the way I was before to who I truly was all along and now knew myself to be. His example was a friend of ours who began baking cakes on the side for friends. At first it was just a cake or 2, here and there, but overtime she became a renowned full time professional baker. She never made an announcement, like “hey...hello. Ahem, I am now a “Baker” 🙌🏽.” No, it just happened little by little over time. So our phrase of encouragement for when I would get anxious and not know which way to behave was, “just Be the baker.” IN other words...just be the real me. I didn’t need to explain myself if who I truly was didn’t match the expectations of others who’s perception of me was based on my old ways.

With some true friends this was an easy shift. I felt comfortable enough with them to just do me. Down my walls went and my hiding stopped, and god it felt good to be real. 😅 But with others it was much harder...just being around certain situations or certain people would auto trigger my old coping mechanism of hiding parts of myself and faking my being. I did not know how to NOT go there in these situations.

So my man had a brilliant suggestion. We were on our way to a yoga class with our favorite instructor, and my man said “just pretend everyone in the class knows EVERYTHING about you.” So all my little secret desires, my flaws, my gloriousness, my shyness, my aspirations, my sexuality, my particular kinks, even what I look like naked 😆...for 2 hours in this class i pretended that all the other students and the instructor knew every single thing about me.

And guess what...no one flinched. No one shunned me or mocked me. I was openly the true me for those 2 hours and nothing changed. My world didn’t end! I didn’t die!!

I know, I know...this was just a head game. But, isn’t our reality always a matter of perception? Basically this little head game exercise allowed me to experience life unhidden as I desired to live. It allowed me to visualize and even experience how life could be, which is always the first step towards actually living it.

So that’s my tip for today. Wanting to make a shift in your life? Step 1 is get really, really clear on what you want. For me it was to live wide open with no more hiding. Step 2 is to visualize or practice in your head actually living that way. How would it look, taste, sound, and feel?

My reality shifted back on that day from this practice and all of my dreams began to come true. ✨💗