When I let my children watch television I never think it’s going to end with us having a conversation about consent.

But when my kids watched Doc McStuffins' ‘Commander No’ episode that is exactly what happened..... and I’m glad it did.

Let me explain.

The Show
For those who haven’t seen the show before, Doc McStuffins is an American-Irish animated series on Disney Jr. It follows the adventures of six year old Dottie McStuffins. Dottie’s father is a stay-at-home dad and her mother is a Pediatrician. Inspired by her mother’s career, Dottie becomes Doc, her playhouse becomes a clinic, and her toys become her patients. Typically, each episode follows the same structure: discovery of a toy with a problem, a trip to Doc’s clinic, a diagnosis, a cure, and some singalongs for good measure.

But Doc Mcstuffins offers so much more than just a little girl playing make-believe with her toys. The show pushes social and cultural boundaries. The program centers on an African American family and the protagonist is an African American girl who wants to be a doctor. The show challenges gender and racial stereotypes, it promotes intersectional feminism, supports LGBT communities and interracial relationships, promotes healthy lifestyles (physical, emotional, dietary), all in addition to a backdrop of solid morals like kindness, friendship, and empathy.

Oh, and children love the show too.

Not just because it talks about real life issues, but because Doc is a lovely kid and a wonderful friend...and the show has all of the kid-friendly trimmings: bright colours, laughter, catchy songs, dance routines, and a magical stethoscope that brings Doc’s toys to life.

original image: not to be used without permission

Commander No
In the episode ‘Commander No’, Gloria Gorilla suggests to the other toys that they play a game of ‘pass the tickle’ (side note: Doc is in the clinic with a patient so doesn’t see the toys playing). Commander Crush is a transforming space commander who agrees to play along after the other toys tell him what a tickle is and explain that it is fun...
Gloria tickles Commander Crush.
Commander Crush laughs.
All the toys laugh.
Commander Crush asks Gloria to stop.
She doesn’t.
Commander Crush gets upset.
Game over.
Doc comes over to mediate.
Gloria apologises to Commander Crush.
Doc suggests they play a new game that everyone likes.
Everyone is happy.
Cue the music.
Roll the credits.

“SoWhat?”

        What’s the big deal? The 'kids' (aka toys) are just playing. 
        Someone got upset. The other kid apologised. 
        Now they are all having fun again. 
        THIS IS JUST NORMAL KIDS STUFF – KIDS BEING KIDS.

Well, this ten minute episode is more than just kid’s play. The toys are essentially children, and their backyard game provides an important life lesson about consent.

Let’s take it back a step...

Consent, in its simplest description is:
“Permission for something to happen or agreement to do something.” (Oxford Dictionary)

What happens between Commander Crush and Gloria is a consent issue.
It’s about the permission (consent) around wanted and unwanted touch.

So what lessons does the show give our kids about consent....

Lesson 1: Always Get Consent
There are two key moments in the episode where consent is demonstrated.

1. Before Gloria begins tickling Commander Crush they talk about it!
   Gloria suggests they play “pass the tickle”. The other toys explain to Commander Crush what a tickle is and once he understands he gives consent:
   GLORIA: Commander Crush ... ready to be tickled?
   COMMANDER CRUSH: Commence tickling

2. Later in the episode Doc demonstrates the act of consent between a doctor and a patient.
   DOC: Commander Crush, permission to give you a check up?
   COMMANDER CRUSH: Permission granted.

Lesson 2: It’s OK to Change Your Mind
Although Commander Crush initially agreed (gave consent) for Gloria to tickle him he quickly realises that he doesn’t like it and tells Gloria to stop.
COMMANDER CRUSH: ooo can’t stop laughing ... ok ok, enough. Oh please stop.
It doesn’t matter that he originally gave consent, or that he might hurt his friends feelings if he says he doesn’t want to play, it’s OK to change your mind.

Lesson 3: “No” means “No”
When Doc asks Commander Crush why he didn’t tell Gloria to “Stop” the following exchange happens:
COMMANDER CRUSH: I did. I said no. But you didn’t listen.
GLORIA: I didn’t think you meant it. You were laughing when you said it...
COMMANDER CRUSH: That’s true, but tickling is a strange thing. I was laughing even though I wanted you to stop.
GLORIA: I’m sorry. I guess I should have listened.
DOC: Sometimes, you can be having so much fun that you don’t pay attention to how other people are feeling....But when someone says stop, it’s time to stop.

The characters highlight the importance of listening and respecting each other and their choices. It’s about body autonomy. This is the concept that a person has full control over their own body. Even though Commander Crush first said he wanted to be tickled, he is allowed to change his mind because it is his body and he gets to make the decisions. And what’s more, it doesn’t matter that he is laughing, “NO” means “NO”.

Lesson 4: Respect Boundaries
When Commander Crush decides he doesn’t want to play ‘pass the tickle game’ anymore, and Gloria isn’t listening when he tells her to stop, he pretends his spacesuit is broken causing him to continuously transform. But when Doc fixes the suit and the toys are ready to play again he reveals that the truth.
COMMANDER CRUSH: The truth is: I don’t want to play the tickle game.
GLORIA: I knew it was me.
COMMANDER CRUSH: No, no, it isn’t. At least not really.
....
GLORIA: You don’t want to play with me, do you?... (now crying) I don’t understand, I thought we were friends.

What is happening here is Gloria is misinterpreting Commander Crush’s choice as a personal attack on her. Commander Crush has the right to say no because he is in charge of the decisions around his body (body autonomy), and it is therefore Gloria’s job to respect his personal boundaries

Lesson Five: The Role of the Bystander
There are four other characters watching when Commander Crush tells Gloria to stop tickling him, Chilli, Stuff, Lambie and Hallie. Four people watching and no one stepping in. This is the bystander effect. In a nut shell, the social psychological concept argues that a bystander is less likely to step-in and help in a distressful situation if they are in a crowd (as opposed to being the only witness). The theory suggests that a bystander, in a group, will diffuse the responsibility to other witnesses, thereby doing nothing to stop or help the situation.

Doc doesn’t remind the other toys of the importance of stepping in when they know something is wrong, and I think this is mainly because the other toys, like Gloria, didn’t see the problem because they weren’t paying attention. However, it is a great point to bring up with our children. That if they see something that they know is wrong, they need to do something about it. We can brainstorm what this could look like: Yell out “STOP THAT”, “He said NO”, or going to get an adult (or in the episode, going to get Doc).

Lesson 6: The Importance of Words: The ‘Commander No’ Song
The key messages about consent are sung by Doc and her friends Lambie and Stuffy, and it even has its own dance routine. But most importantly the chorus is simple enough for kids to remember and it gives them clear instruction on how to deal with a situation with unwanted touch.

Chorus :
STOP. NO. THAT’S ENOUGH.
These are the words to listen to.
STOP. NO. KNOCK IT OFF.
When you hear these words well that’s your queue

The Talk
The success of the episode is that it teaches children essential lessons about respectful friendships and gives kids the tools to deal with situations that involve consent and unwanted touch.

The episode provides an opportunity for adults (whether they are parents, caregivers and/or teachers) to talk to children about real life scenarios, that often seem too daunting or complex to approach.

The animated characters role-play a situation that is similar to something that children might experience in the backyard or the school playground.

The episode gives children images and character to help them process what a situation about consent could look like.

Doc McStuffins provides the starting point for adults to discuss important concepts like body autonomy and consent with their children.

Doc Mcstuffins gives children the tools to empower them if they find themselves in a similar situation.

Here is a selection of the questions I asked my children:
(I followed their lead and followed where they took the conversation)

What did you think of the show?
Who was you favourite character? ............. What do you like about them?
What was going on with Commander Crush and Gloria?
Why did he get upset?
Have you ever played a game like that before?
Why did Commander Crush keep transforming?
Why didn’t Commander Crush want to be touched?
Why didn’t Gloria stop when Commander Crush said stop?
What do you think about Gloria not listening to Commander Crush?
But didn’t Commander Crush say he wanted to be tickled at the start of the game?
What about the other toys watching..... should they have helped?

Doc McStuffins is more than just a "kid's show". Doc McStuffins provides opportunities for adults to connect with children and to empower them with essential life lessons.*

Thank you Doc

       THIS ARTICLE IS AN ORIGINAL CONTRIBUTION

Author: Melissa Gould, Ph.D (AUT), MCS, BCS (Hons), BCS.

Dr Melissa Gould holds a Ph.D from the School of Communications at Auckland University of Technology in Auckland, New Zealand. She worked as a Media and Communications Lecturer at the School, and now works as an independent researcher and writer. Her primary research areas include media communication theory and cultural studies that examine religion, gender, religion, and childhood.