TWO AND FIVE; the wrong motivation

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It’s quarter to the age to be buried on your biological clock. Three more twenty-fives (if you get there) and you’d be dead. Every second counts.

You twist the ring on your fourth finger. It’s that voice that’s been screaming in your ears, “25. 25. Two and five — twenty five.” You said YES because the clock is ticking.

It’s that voice that sang all through the day you decided to resign from this job because you believed you deserved better. “Two and five – twenty five, living in Mama’s home.” And so you stayed put because girl’s got to pay rent.

When you screamed two and five — twenty five in transition class, it wasn’t something you thought you’d grow to hate but accept. Two and five — twenty five.

Each birthday had been fun all through. Until on every form you filled recently that required an age made you remember all the things that you were not at Twenty-Five. Not a wife. Not a mother. Not an entrepreneur. Not ‘made’ and Not getting any younger.

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The realisation that you’re getting old, that telomeres are shortening and certain changes — physically and emotionally are occurring is one of the scariest things in life. What’s more scary is having an ‘unfulfilled’ life.

When I turned 16 and got admission into the university, almost everybody made me comfortable and whispered that I was too young to be in college. By 20 I’d graduated and everybody except me felt it was an accomplishment — I’d begun to realise that time was ticking. I was no longer a child or a teenager and I had not done half the things that 5 year old me had thought to accomplish. The year I was turning 22, I’d become even more scared. Unaccomplished goals cluttered my mind and slowly, I fell into the pit of depression. Wanna know a secret ? Well, I’m also scared of the next year and the others before I turn 25 and those after but you should know…

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It can be a lot depressing especially when you see others with their ‘big’ accomplishments and you may be nowhere near them. What’s )important is that you are making the most of your life, moving at your own pace. Do not let your pace in life be determined by how slow or how fast others are moving else you’d be lost in a competition that in the end you’ll be unsure why you got in at its beginning. Ageing can be really scary, especially in the society we live in and all the responsibilities that come with it. Shut your ears to “too young, too old.” Choose to live your life fully, make sure you’re happy. Don’t be comfortable with achieving low or high, don’t be comfortable with achieving ‘just’, push yourself but don’t break yourself.

In the end, “You’ll be alright.” (Just like my mom would say)