take ownership of self-critical thoughts
I failed to take action on the things I know I should have done something about. I was not aware of the negative things going on in my mind. I avoided looking precisely at what I was feeling. Self loathing, I am fat. I shouldn’t be drinking pepsi. Eating food/ playing video games to feel good.
When the day started I was not feeling positive. There was no call to action, which is precisely what I desperately need in my life. Through fear we act to avoid what we do not want. There are times where I am feeling bad about something but I do not process this into an action plan. To act requires positive feeling about action in and of itself. There is a threshold of psychological motivation to action.
There has to be a turn towards the self loathing. If self-criticism is not processed it remains bubbling just beneath your consciousness. You expend effort avoiding it: watching TV, playing video games… Why would anyone turn towards this pain? The answer is you can, you should and you will prosper if you do.
For example, you are criticising yourself for eating food when you know you want to lose weight. This self-criticism hurts. This is the feeling of shame. Avoiding this pain makes you want to escape it,so you carry on eating more! The exact opposite of what you want. If you do not confront the self-critical message it will be forever external, it is not you, it feels like some mean entity is intent on beating you up.
However if you confront it, yes I believe I am overweight, yes I do not want to be doing this. You are acknowledging the ‘I’. The ‘I’ is power. You confront your demons, by asserting your I-ness. This way the self-critical voice is not a hostage taker, where your ‘I’ goes into hiding. But if you come out of hiding, and negotiate with the critical voice, either agreeing or disagreeing with it. Choosing a course of action or no course of action. Shame thus is turned into guilt, which is actually a positive emotion of you taking control of things you feel bad about.
I want X
I will Y
X is not me
I will not Y
Only by having an opinion either way will you no longer be bullied by self-critical thoughts. Then and only then, can you perform practical courses of action, you will no longer play dissociative mind games with yourself.
I am too fat… l want to lose weight!
I’m in debt… I want more money in my bank account!
I lost my job… I want another job!
This video from the wolf of wall street demonstrates the idea of taking control of stuff you feel bad about. positive control of problems you have requires the 'I', its is not selfish, it is responsibility!
No more feeling sorry for yourself.
look from 2m 20s