TOO CLOSE TO HEAVEN
Even though in over 95% of my posts I try to be funny, I have a serious side as well.
So, for all of you who came here for a laugh, go to the next post.
Because this one's not for you this time.
Recently I had a big job to do at a Care Centre for juveniles, adults as well as
older people with mental problems and/or disorders.
The reason for writing this post has nothing to do with the job I did,
but everything with a young woman I already met in my
first week of that job. A patient.
For the sake of her privacy I will not get into every single detail.
Also I won't tell you her real name, but use one that I made up for this post.
I will call her Leah.
Leah is a very intelligent young woman who graduated at University.
She's tiny and slim-built but nevertheless not bad looking.
Before you'll think otherwise: I'm not in love with her and she's not in love with me.
We became just good friends.
When we first met during one of my coffee breaks she was rather reticent.
Not shy, not introverted, just "feel out the situation".
Me, I'm rather outgoing and if possible, always trying to make jokes.
I like to laugh, but especially to make people laugh.
Leah hadn't laughed for quite a long time she told me.
Without forcing I asked her why that was ofcourse.
She instantly stood up, went back to her room, leaving me with:
'It's a long story, I don't wanna talk about it
and certainly not with someone I hardly know'.
I understood that message, but didn't take it bad.
I just continued my small jokes and remarks the next days when I saw her.
Leah started to laugh more and more.
She has a great smile.
A week later I had to go to the main building of the complex.
I needed some keys that gave me acces to rooms and compartments
that have to stay closed and locked at all times.
Entering the building I saw Leah sitting near the reception.
'You're a long way from home', I said.
She smiled and said she was a bit too early for an appointment she had.
'Gonna tell them your final offer for that hostile takeover
of the complex you had planned?'
An even bigger smile.
I decided to take a short break and sat down next to her.
'I'm sorry for reacting a bit bitchy last week
but I've got a lot on my mind'.
Almost out of nothing she started telling me what has happened to her.
(Like I already said above, I will not get into details)
It started when she was about 17 years old ... hearing "voices".
First harmless and later on more and more scary.
She searched for psychiatric help and got it,
as well as medication to suppress it.
It seemed to be under control for more than 10 years.
But it came back, and worse than ever.
She had to commit suicide or else the "voices" would kill her parents.
At one moment she got stuck in a permanent psychosis.
She "decided" to jump of a high building,
being convinced, this way she could save her parents.
She had broken and/or crushed almost every bone in her lower body,
but amazingly survived, and no braindamage.
She has had several surgical restorations but they can't do it all at once.
So for the last couple of years she's living either in the Care centre
or being in a hospital.
I was totally confused (and that's an understatement) hearing this all.
It kept me busy the rest of the day.
Leah is fine now, she's stable.
I got to know her better the remaining time I worked there
Can't tell you her motto, but let me tell you ...
She's a fighter, a go-getter, a trouper!
Soon she will have another surgery
On my last day working there I gave her my phone number
to call me for a day out together, after her recovery.
She smiled as I have never seen her doing before.
+++
Below you'll find a video of the (of origin) Irish band The Waterboys.
The song is called 'Too close to Heaven'.
Listen to the (to my opinion) special singing of Mike Scott,
and the, at several moments brilliant instrumental play of
electric violin and saxophone.
But especially the "touching" (included) lyrics and singing of the
last 3 minutes and you understand maybe why I chose to post
this song with the story I told you above.
Besides singer/songwriter and founder of the band, Mike Scott is also a poet.
Not only do I love this song very much,
I also want to dedicate it to Leah and let her know:
'if I can be of help in any way tomorrow or some day in the future,
you have my number, you only have to call girl'.
+++
Recover and get well Leah.
And when we meet again ... Smile for me baby!
source: youtube.com
I am a huge fan of sax and anything jazzy, 3 AM, this song and a dark room takes you away so fking deep... I strongly believe that when you have unfinished things on Earth that even if you tried to die, you can't because you are not done, and she still has a few peoples lives to change, finally after she defeated her obstacle... Thank you man for being there for her those couple of smiles definitely made a difference for her and I can't wait to read a follow up on this friendship :)
'I strongly believe that when you have unfinished things on Earth that even if you tried to die, you can't because you are not done, and she still has a few peoples lives to change'
Bingo! Besides a lot of other things, those were exactly the words I said to her as well and where we talked about quite some time.
Glad to read how good you understand that this music fits so damn well in my story.
You are a good man, it takes a lot of strength to enter someone life and not be offended or things that go with it from that person and change their mindset, it's a tough thing to do when you have the power to destroy the person even more or help her grow to go on a path of becoming best version of themselves so they can pass it on. The song fits perfectly.
👍
Wat sommige mensen allemaal meemaken... pff en ik zit al te piepen met me gekneusde enkel..
Heb er genoeg gezien daar de 4,5 week dat ik er heb gewerkt. Dan weet je daarna idd weer waar je staat. Sterkte met je enkel man.
heb je iets aan je enkel @markush ?
@smasssh ik worstel een beetje met die lap text ik heb het vertaald in translate en zover ik het begrijp ben je een leuke damen tegen gekomen in de psygiatrie en je gaat haar vriendschap missen die je heb opgeboud in de paar weken die je daar was.
das lief !
mocht ik het nouw toch verkeerd begrepen hebben zal dat vast door de medicijnen komen lol.
ik heb ook een verleden eej goeie week !
In grote lijnen komt het erop neer dat ze na een mislukte poging zichzelf van het leven te beroven omdat ze in een psychose is geraakt een paar jaar geleden daar nu als patiënt in die instelling begeleidt woont. Ik heb daar een klus van ruim 4 weken gedaan en haar stukje bij beetje beter leren kennen en haar o.a. weer wat aan het lachen weten te krijgen.
hopen dat ze vedder de lol in het leven vindt. en stabiel blijft.
Ik ben zelf ook in klienieken geweest en dat was geen pretje om daar te zitten dus een beetje fun in het leven is belangrijk.
Great and sad story. I honestly hope Leah doesn’t hear these voices anymore. It’s almost hard to belive people actually go through these horrible events. However, I do believe there is something beyond our understanding, somethings good and something bad. Leah unfortunately had to go through bad things. But you are her hero, you made her smile.
“...just smile for me baby...”
Beautiful song! She was very close to heaven, but it was not her time yet. I think, you are becoming very important part in her life.
I'll give you my max upvote, not only for reading the article, but for listening to the entire song as well. Otherwise you couldn't have given the comment you just made. Thanks man.
Believe it or not, stories like yours are very emotional especially when I know it’s all true, it’s really happening at this momen to someone. During my live there is handful of songs that are special, attached to me. When I hear them I think about this special moment. It feels like I’m reliving this moment again. Even though it was many years ago, thanks to the s song it still feels like it was yesterday. Some of the moments are sad and some are amazing. I understand that this song means a lot to you and that’s why you dedicated it to Leah, because she is special to you.
Exactly. Some songs can express so damn well certain feelings.
Na al die lovende comments weinig aan toe te voegen. Toch ben ik ook wel onder de indruk van @softsmasssh. Mooi verhaal en sterk nummer ook man, nooit gehoord. Touching 😔
Dank je. @softsmasssh ja, goed gevonden. Misschien maar een extra accountje aanmaken met die naam voor eventuele toekomstige "tearjerking" posts.
Is she able to walk now?
Do you specifically work with patients with mental diseases?
I have a sister who is heavily dysfunctional bipolar and doesn't recognize it and this is a very sensitive topic for me.
Sorry to hear about your sister. Remember having already read something like that in a more recent post of you. That must be difficult, her not recognizing it. Because of that she might be less (or even not at all) open for help and treatment.
Yes Leah can walk. Not fast, and sometimes using a stick. The surgery that still has to be done could maybe give some more improvement, but she will never be able to run for example.
Haven't been really clear enough about the work I do I guess. I'm self employed and was there for some construction- and fireprotection-kind of work. So no, do not work with patients.
I wrote about her 6 months ago. Have a read if you like/have time.
https://steemit.com/mental/@sandrina.life/at-what-point-is-a-person-with-mental-illness-still-responsible-for-their-choices
I've just read it, and the comments as well. There's a real difficult situation indeed, not (yet) being a danger to herself and for others and denying she needs help and, because of that, refusing it.
I feel I'm not allowed to say this actually, but you almost "wish" that she becomes a danger to herself and or others so that there will be enough reason to mandatory psychiatric treatment.
Leah has got herself a great valuable friend in you.
Beneath a rugged exterior, at times there beats a sensitive soul as well ...
@smasssh ikzelf heb type 2 m/d zegt mijne pillendokter, heeft me enkele jaren geduurd tegen dt ik echt hulp ben gaan zoeken. tijdens mijn verblijf in het zottekot had ik vaak het idee dat er enkel mensen zaten die hun plaats niet vonden in onze maatschappij...respect man uit je verhaal blijkt dat je echt een mens met een open mind en hart bent, nog een mooie avond toegewenst
Dank je. Ben er te weinig in thuis om te weten wat type 2 exact is, om je de waarheid te zeggen. Weet wel dat je in dit soort instellingen niet wordt opgenomen voor alleen maar zweetvoeten. Dan is er echt iets aan de hand waar jezelf geen invloed meer op hebt en alleen met professionele hulp je je zaakjes (mogelijk) weer in orde kan krijgen. Fijne avond jij ook.
wel type 2 is kortweg eens manie (net zoals je zwaar van een bepaald wit poeder genoten hebt) en door niet te kunnen slapen en teveel aan energy begint realiteit soms moeilijk te worden, dan terug periode van zware depri..... ikzelf ben steeds in drank en andere substantie gevlucht....maar gelukkig heb ik dan even naar zottekot gegaan om terug clean te worden en me idd eens zwaar te laten onderzoeken....persoonlijk heeft het 1,5 reis naar mezelf echt goed gedaan en ben ik te weten gekomen dat het idd iets in mijne brain is (aangeboren hoogt waarschijnlijk omdat de symtonen reeds van mijn 12 j is)...maar respect man, want vaak zijn deze onderwerpen nog vaak taboe....hopelijk word ze vlug beter
Dank voor je uitleg. Ze gaat heel veel beter. Als het goed is heeft ze na de komende, nog één operatie te ondergaan. De medicatie om die stemmen te onderdrukken van nu is veel beter en daardoor de situatie volledig onder controle.
Succes en goed dat jij het weer op de rails hebt gekregen voor jezelf.
Iemand een lach op het gezicht toveren is bijna het mooiste wat er is. Iemand door omstandigheden niet veel plezier meer heeft en je kan deze laten lachen is het allermooiste wat er is. Het maakt de situatie toch weer een beetje beter dan het was. Goed verhaal!
Precies, helemaal mee eens. En dank voor je compliment.
even i know that you had it, it very nice to see the other part of you @smasssh , the easy way was to turn your head away but you did the most important thing for Leah. you listen. take care my friend and i hope in the future you will met Leah again
I hope so too. Could take a while because next surgery seems to be a "heavy" one, and after that rehab will take some time ofcourse. We'll see. If already I was able to cheer her up and make her smile a bit more it was worth it.
Beautiful story dude.
I can imagine how much impact this made on you.
Looking at somebody and then hearing their background is not something to take lightly. She must have enjoyed your light way of thinking on life, dont ever change that!
Thanks very much. And yeah, it sure had quite some impact on me. And still has to be honest.
That's why I wanted to "write it off" of me (if you now what I mean).
At least this short version without all the details. Because there's actually much more to this story than I could write here.
With this short version the chance that there are dutch people on Steemit who instantly know what Leah's real name is, is very small.
Out of respect to her I couldn't and wouldn't take the risk to tell more than I already did.
This is enough for the to get the picture. No more need for details. These type of experiences have so much inside of it that we can not even imagine having just 'our simple lives'
and yeah, van je afschrijven is a good thing we can all do here (thats why I am writing so much about my emigration as well hahaha, just to get rid of it out of my head)
👍