@wakkylyon, thank you. That post is very powerful. I had to go back the third time to read...
@humanearl, i totally totally relate to this. In fact, i think every body who's read this post totally relates to it. When i say every body relates to your story, i do not mean everybody in those instances like/similar to what you found yourself, has channelled their energy positively as a reaction to aggression too(like you did). Fortunately, to emphasize this point, there is a post by @rok-sivante i read some couple of days ago. Here is the link in case you wanna check it out https://steemit.com/creation/@rok-sivante/the-creation-story.
He talked about "creation" and "destruction"...
Stating that we're all creative in one way or the other. If we do not make use of the energy positively in one way, definitely in the other way, we will be destructive. In your case, you decided to channel the anger and aggression energy into playing basketball...what a perfect way to vent! Instead of giving in, you made anger give in. I admire your strength. This is something many men need to learn, like @remelsy, you too can roll out a course on this one in particular. Or better still you can make a completely different blog for it, because seriously, the human race needs to learn.
I have seen uncountable cases of domestic abuse on wives because their spouses couldn't control and manage their anger. These wives sometimes are at fault, but there are always better ways to vent than hitting the hell outta them(wives). When i see situations like this, i first think of the man to be an " illiterate"- i think this better informs why i suggested you make a blog for this. By doing so, other members can also get to post about their experiences, form a bond, get and give advice, etc etc.. Of course everybody gets angry at one point or the other, but the most important part is basically how you decide to react to that emotion...do you get creative or destructive?
Managing anger in a positive way is an art, many people need to learn.
Personally, i have been pissed a lot of times and i have reacted badly a lot of times too. Sometime last year something changed my mentality 360. I have an app-Snaptube, i can watch and download thousands of good stuff anytime i want. You basically find videos on how to make almost everything there, from anything to everything- foods, snacks, cakes, drinks, oils, fashion designs, decorations, soaps, creams, dyes, hair styles, make over, shoes, bags, beaded jewelries, EVERYTHING! So sometimes when i'm angry, my snaptube is my saving grace. I check videos on how to make some snacks and easy foods using ripe plantain,banana,etc (i love love love working with these two a lot), or a new type of cake, or cookies, or beaded neck pieces, etc.
If i don't wanna be in the kitchen, i try to go back to learning a language. That's always my second option. I get the videos from snaptube, then start work immediately. I have come to find out this even makes my brain excited and i can't think of something else at that moment....even if it is for 5mins.
At other times, i google some Bible portions on this and educate myself accordingly, i look up similar cases online, and I can testify that these are sure therapies for anger control.
@humanearl with what you did here, i can say that you, my friend, are a wise man. I hope you guys are cool with each other now yeah?
Thank you for sharing...Jah bless!
You know , I am happy that along the line you admited to the fact that sometimes women are at fault . But from my understanding of physics as an engineer , Newton's Third Law of motion says that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. And for an effect to be avoided or removed, we have to focus on the cause.
Now instead of channeling our energy on calling men who beat their wives illitrates how about talking to the women to stop provoking their husbands. When has provoking anyone to anger been a num? Even the Bible said...do not put the lord your God to test.
Why would anyone consciously provike another and expect the person to turn a blind eye and act like nothing happened. Isn't that cruelty? It's a different thing if you guys are having an argument and then because he feels he is the man, he hits you ...that's very bad. But most women these days would consciously provike their husbands to anger by calling him all sorts of names and some even go to the extent of slapping their husbands but expect him not to get angry...Isn't that abuse on its own ?
We need to channel our energy on educating the women on how to control their emotions. Anger is emotional as well and if you women can't control you emotions when you get angry, please do not call men who can't control theirs illitrates...that's being bias and a feminist.
I didn't wanna concentrate my time and energy on the "cause" of anger because i didn't wanna deviate from the main topic here....talking about causal effects of anger would mean me making a totally different post under another post, that was why...and i know you have read the post before now. If you haven't well, what exactly does this mean to you??
"Instead of wallowing in self-pity I made the choice to channel my frustrations and negativity into something productive and energizing. My wife and I had a disagreement about some things so I decided to get out of the house to bask in the beauty of the day"
@humanearl had a disagreement with the wife(we don't know who was to blame for that), but what was more important right at that point was how he reacted to it.
Personally, i have been pissed a lot of times and i have reacted badly a lot of times too. Sometime last year "something" changed my mentality 360...you remember i said this too. This totally suggests i got some knowledge about something i didn't know before, and from that time, my mentality changed. So when you saw "illiterate" in my comment, you should not have come off totally defensive and offended, except of course you feel some pinch of guilt about being "illiterate" to anger control.
I understand your point, but i would have given this more concern if you had asked what exactly i meant by seeing the men who can't vent anger differently except by hitting their wives as "illiterates"...other than circling round to the feminist word. When you see words like " illiterate" next time, try to get a better understanding of what that person actually means, especially if it wasn't used for the general meaning. I could be musically illiterate as the case may have been, you could be an illiterate for not knowing how best to control and manage anger in more positive ways other than destruction.
Women and men are all human beings with emotions. And it is rightly said, you are allowed to get angry, but not to stay angry. That doesn't in anyway eliminate the fact that women could be causal factors of anger.
But if you @sistem or @humanearl makes a post about women's roles in being causal factors of anger, then i would give you my opinions 100%.
@slimsieris Oh yes we are great now. It was just that day that I needed to get out of the situation. I also love how you mentioned being a creator or destroyer. That is something to think about. At least you found your way to channel your emotions into something other than destroying.
@sistem Emotional abuse is very real. I did not do a good job of communicating to my wife how I felt at the time. My wife and I do our best to communicate with one another. This helps to alleviate alot of "he said" "she said" type of stuff. YOu can never communicate enough. It takes alot of work to maintain the lines of communication.
@humanearl THANK YOU!