A Journey to Freedom: Ilya's Escape

While he was having his last cigarette with his best friend, Franko, Ilya gave him a look that Franko would never forget. He said, "I've made up my mind. I’m leaving this place. I can’t handle living here anymore, surrounded by these kinds of people. I’m dying, Franko. Every day feels like a year. I need to find myself, or at least run far away to somewhere unlike anything I’ve ever known. I want to discover something new—or at the very least, something different. I’m sure there’s someone out there meant for me, maybe a soulmate or just a friend."

Franko looked at Ilya, thinking it was just another bad day after work. He figured that once they got some dinner, everything would be fine, and all these feelings would fade. But there was something different about Ilya that night. His eyes told a different story—they spoke of exhaustion, a man at his breaking point, no longer able to fight. It was like seeing a cancer patient who had decided to stop fighting for their life, or someone who had simply chosen to take the nearest exit and run.

Franko couldn’t blame him. How could he, when they were spending their last money on cheap beer and cigarettes? They stood there late at night, under one of the streetlights that had become their usual spot. It was where they met every night after work to talk, to ease their pain, and to search for hope in a tomorrow that never seemed to come.
That night, their conversation was different—raw, unfiltered, and heavy with truths that couldn’t be shared during their long, grueling workdays. It was their only honest moment, and Franko knew deep down that Ilya had reached his limit. There was no turning back now.
Franko telling Ilya:
Franko: Are you really leaving everything, man?
Ilya: Yes, I can’t do this anymore, my dear friend. This is beyond my limits. This situation has drained all my strength. I feel soulless, broken, and empty. I can’t even taste food anymore, and I’ve already buried the past.
How can I handle today’s challenges when I can’t form a clear image of the future in my head? I can’t imagine what things will look like even in the near future. I don’t know where to go or how to deal with this situation. Right now, I have to keep going for the sake of my future and, most importantly, to shield my family from how difficult this is for me.
There was nothing harder than leaving everything behind and moving on, but deep inside, Ilya believed in the future. He longed for something different—something that could save his soul, a soul worn down by every painful moment he had endured.
Now, the question lingered in his mind: to leave or not to leave? But deep down, he knew the answer. It was always "yes." It had to be "yes." The darkness he saw in his current situation pushed him to take that step, to change something, and to escape the box he had been trapped in for so long.

There was nothing harder than leaving everything behind and moving on. Yet deep inside, he believed in the future. He longed for something different—something that could save his soul. His soul had been consumed by the pain of every hard moment he had endured, and the heavy weight of his past. The question of whether to leave or not lingered in his mind, but he already knew the answer. Deep down, it was always "yes." It had to be. The darkness he saw in his current life drove him to take a step forward, to break free from the box he had been trapped in.
A fighter has nothing to lose when the end is near. He decided to give everything he had and face life with reckless determination. He believed he could still find something worth living for. But inside, there was a mess—a storm of emotions and an overwhelming sense of loss. His heart felt hollow, his mind cluttered, like a messy, unsolvable puzzle. The pain was unbearable, and the inner conflict too vast to contain. Yet, he found some strange satisfaction in piecing himself back together, holding onto his dreams while everything else tried to fall apart.

He couldn’t struggle with his miserable life forever. He believed he could solve the puzzle within him and eventually find happiness—a place where he could finally be himself without hiding behind a mask. He felt that, with time, he could move forward, shift his life in a better direction, and put the pieces of his broken self-back together. But for now, he couldn’t breathe freely. A stone seemed lodged in his throat, preventing him from living as he wanted. He craved freedom—freedom from the memories and pain of his past.
He spent his days trying to figure out the future. He wanted to take a path built on principles, to better understand himself and his struggles. But the world wouldn’t wait for him. Time moved on, indifferent to his pain. Often, he wanted to run away, doubting himself, hiding from people, and fearing his own emotions. He was terrified of becoming weak again, of trusting someone, of loving again. His mind, clouded with pain, made him doubt everything—the truth behind every action, every word, every movement around him.

Sometimes, he imagined what life would be like if he were happy again. He had once been happy, but he had forgotten how it felt or how to get there. The darkness of his feelings and the control of his memories overwhelmed him. Still, he tried to make something good out of himself. He fought against his inner demons, trying to solve his problems and make life better.

Life was cruel to him, filled with loneliness and the wrong people. But every hardship strengthened him. The more life tried to break him, the more he became a fighter. He learned to stand up after every fall, ready to fight again and again. Nothing could truly stop him anymore.
“You were there for me when no one else was. You fought for me when no one believed in me,” he told himself, clinging to the hope of cheering himself up. But his mind remained tangled, unable to focus on something beautiful. His imagination, once vibrant, felt lost.
Life is unpredictable, he thought. No matter how much you plan or pretend to know what’s ahead, something unexpected always happens. Sometimes it surprises you in unimaginable ways. But the most dangerous part is when you start enjoying the pain—when nothing truly matters anymore. That’s when you feel yourself cracking inside, like a great ship sinking slowly in the middle of the ocean. And unless you act quickly, that sinking will drag you down faster than you ever expected.

Deep inside, Ilya always believed that leaving could solve problems. But he wasn’t a runner or an escape artist. In his heart, he wanted to stand and fight for everything he desired. Yet, he knew some challenges were greater than him, and he wasn’t ashamed to admit it. Even so, he held onto the belief that every problem had a solution—it was just hidden, waiting to be found.
Most people would stay, enduring the sacrifices brick by brick, until nothing was left around them. Not everyone was like Franko, who refused to leave no matter how broken things became. But something inside Ilya had shattered—a part of him he knew could never be repaired. The weight of the consequences bore down on him, and he couldn’t ignore them anymore.
At that moment, Ilya told himself he had to stick to his plan and move forward. But deep within, countless emotions swirled, keeping him awake at night. He was torn between staying and leaving, between fighting and surrendering, haunted by the quiet knowledge that his path had already been chosen.

Ilya went back to his home, trying to find a reason that force him to stay in his homeland. His thoughts were so dark and negative that made him feel uncomfortable emotionally and physically.
He had to believe in himself that night and that was the most important idea for himself. He wanted to believe that he could change the present and make a brighter future. Ilya mindset comes from a background that believes to achieve something he should suffer and bleed to reach what he wants. And that because he grew up in a very strict catholic family.