The hidden power of staying quiet during criticism and anger.
Words can be source of energy. When people express anger towards you, not only are they letting it out, some of it may penetrate you, deep under the skin. What one may say about you may not sit well with you. Depending on what has been said and how you took it, it can annoy you, upset you or anger you too. Often this translates in exchange of anger which we call a heated argument.
NOTE: I am referring to anger through criticism about yourself, particularly unfair criticism. I am not talking about anger that is deserved, i.e. if you killed someone, you deserve anger on you from the victims family.
The next time you get yourself into an anger and upset state, try feel your face and head heating up, maybe breathing slightly, maybe slightly stiffer in your body too. Notice the changes. You will feel some form of energy. You can clench your fist harder, if you had to hit someone maybe you can hit harder. Ultimately you can let it out by responding back in anger. But what if you just didn't let it out.
What happens if you breathe deeply and calm yourself, try to not let the criticism destroy you, but not letting the anger out. Also further go on to not explain yourself or explain yourself the lest amount required, because the more you explain yourself the more you are essentially giving excuses.
Anger is like an extremely hot metal, if you are not careful you will damage yourself. But if you use it the right way, it can produce amazing results.
This is not to say that you should let anger destroy you inside, that is not how you deal with anger. I am rather talking about trying to find ease and peace with it. Ultimately when you let it out, you don't have the energy.
When I use it wisely anger through unfair criticism becomes a driver to your goals and success.
When you don't let it out, although its not destroying me, it still is there as an energy, pushing me in my goals. You become less relaxed in your work ethic and more alert. Instead of letting it out during a heated argument, imagine letting it release effectively during your work, during your time in the gym, during in a craft or anything that you are looking to build and improve.
It builds Resilience
Being able to face unjust criticism is one of the best attributes successful people go through, making them almost unshakeable from their path and confidence. This toughness that I build in the last year and half was incredible and it totally changed me.
Facing criticism may improve your personality.
Lets face it, even if someone is criticising you for something they also do (or not do), you can ultimately improve that aspect. Ultimately it can help you become the strongest version of yourself.
Learning to face criticism is good impression too.
When you do not explain yourself unnecessarily (as we may do during emotional arguments). These reasons can be legit, but people will see it as excuses. Even if its not your fault, the least reasons you give for your shortcomings.
They may feel guilty for talking bad about you
Arguments keep happening when two people keep going at each other. A person lets his/her anger out and puts it on you, then you try to argue back and put the anger back into them. People feel the need to respond back unnecessarily but sometimes it is best to leave it how it is. This way the anger is not back into them. Now they may feel bad for you.
When you are angry it is best not to open your mouth.
All of this is how I see it through my experience. This is not life advice but rather what I find to be true for myself.
Image source: https://www.askideas.com/anger-is-like-gasoline-if-you-spray-it-around-and-somebody-lights-a-match-youve-got-an-inferno-but-if-we-can-put-our-anger-inside-an-engine-it-can-drive-us-forward/
https://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-a-forge.htm
http://www.quoteambition.com/anger-quotes-sayings/
http://godisheart.blogspot.com/2013/12/speak-when-you-are-angry-and-you-will.html
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