In Which People Ask Me What I Do and Freak Out When I Answer

For many years I was a full time mom with a blog. It was not my dream. It was an expectation I bought into. I've been very open about my truth that, had I not been expected to have children, I believe I would be happier, more satisfied and more fulfilled in many ways. The reason is that my children reopened many wounds from my abusive childhood. The plus side of that is they have pushed me to grow emotionally. I am much stronger, better and am following my dreams because of how hard parenting is, how much I frequently dislike it, and how often I want to run away.

Okay, let me follow that with "I am in a really good place right now." I am. When I started to resent my children a few months ago, I realized something was off. Because, even though I'm not crazy about parenting (aka parenting makes me crazy), I'm in love with my children.

I began taking antidepressants. It was an enormous change in a short time. I could look at my kids with love instead of anger. I ended up adding anti-anxiety meds, and now I can enjoy my children, not just tolerate them. I am so proud of myself for following through on self-care that scared me. I've had a lot of bad reactions to medications. I've also had many periods when I didn't need them and was able to rely on exercise, meditation and supplementation. But I do need them now and I am grateful I chose this path.

The pain and mental illness triggered by having children is actually what pushed me into doing what I do. I teach people how to write through trauma in order to experience release and recovery. When I share this with those who ask, people tend to draw back for a moment, then lean forward and say, "That sounds really important." Instantly, they begin thinking of all the people in their lives who might benefit from private coaching or signing up for my online class with the Center for Creative Writing. Registration for January is open now!

But this isn't all I do. I homeschool one of my three children, I write on Steemit, I write for multiple publications, I run a magazine with @raymondspeaks, and I teach at retreats (I can't wait to tell you about the one coming up in October!!!). Sometimes I host my own retreats. I also teach nonfiction classes locally through a community college.

Oh yeah. And I'm a Girl Scout troop leader.

Usually people are upside down from looking at my sideways as I make my way through this list. I get it. It's a lot. But this is my passion. I am so deeply, profoundly grateful that I get to teach, write and support hearts other than my own.

Okay, I might actually explode with the joy of what I do.

I intend to keep building my writing practice until my husband (@nat5an) and I can switch roles. He's a software engineer with an amazing job of his own. When I am able to meet our financial needs, if he wants, he can work from home and pursue his entrepreneurial dreams while I support our family financially. Being the primary parent while building a business isn't easy. It's why I have moved forward so slowly, and why I am split in so many directions. Soon, I will be more focused on teaching through my own business, Survive Your Story. We have taken the first step to renovating what will be Story House, my writing retreat center. We have the permit to add a bathroom!

Once Story House is finished, I will be streamlining my business significantly including offering more online course options. I hope you'll write with me.

What are your professional dreams?

images from pixabay.com