Reflections on My Grandpa's Life

For Grandpa...

Our Banner in the Sky by Frederic Church

This painting was made during the Civil War, but I chose it for that artist's connection to the Catskills. Frederic Church was one of the most prominent Hudson River School painters and my grandpa shared their love and appreciation of the Catskill region. Grandpa served in the US Army in the 987th Field Artillery Battalion during World War II. He lived through the horrors of combat in many of major European battles. He had a difficult time readjusting to civilian life after he came home, but he found peace upstate. He built his house in the Catskills shortly after and spent every weekend of every summer there with his family. After his children grew up, he continued to go there with some of the grandchilden. That was where his best stories came out, about the war, about life, about nature. He was a great man who valued simple things, moderation, balance, and order. He loved his family and friends, his chosen trade (masonry), and his country.

Important lessons from a wise man:

1. Family is #1. Always. Even when they do things you don't like, you need to get over it because staying together in harmony is more important than whatever bullshit you are fighting about.

2. Do meaningful work. Learn a trade, be an expert in something, perform a service that matters to you. You will want to look back on your life and feel that you mastered something or made a difference.

3. Go outside. Nature is medicine. I realize not everyone is as fortunate to have a house in the mountains or easy access to nature. Even if you live in a city, go sit in a park facing some trees. Make an effort to connect with living things that aren't zombies staring at phones while you are trying to communicate with them.

4. History is important. Study it.

And some advice from me:

If you have an older person in your life, a relative, neighbor, whatever... don't want until they are on their deathbed to give a shit about them. Spend time with them. They were here longer, their perspective is valuable and they want to be heard. They also benefit from learning about the way the world is changing from a younger person's perspective. There is always more to learn, at any age. Ask as many questions as you can think of. Especially about the people you never got to meet. As a mythology and religious studies scholar, I thought it was really cool that my grandpa's mother came from the village in Sicily that has one of the oldest sites of Demeter's cult and nearby the place where the Greeks believed the abduction of Persephone took place. And where my grandpa's father came from in Sicily there is a Byzantine-styled Catholic cathedral, which maybe explains my interest in Byzantine art despite my Catholic heritage.

Having a love for the natural world was something we had in common so it made it easier for me to connect with my grandpa. I liked going upstate with him, watching birds with him, telling him about my hiking trips, watching nature shows with him. Find that thing you have in common and make the connection. Food is always a good place to start because everyone needs to eat. Old people know how to cook because they didn't do the whole eating out thing the way a lot of people do now- have them show you how to make their favorite things, most of the time they will be dishes they learned to make from the people that came before them...so it serves the dual purpose of connecting you with the ancestors you never got to meet.