Did you ever WONDER how you can apologize to a stranger if you don't know how to find them? Author R.J. Palacio found a way... and Hollywood made a movie about it.
Twenty seven years and ninety-seven days ago, while enjoying my day at a Six Flags Amusement Park, I threw a handful of ice cream at a friend. I missed. The mushy, frozen glob hit a five year old girl directly in the face. Because I remember it like it was yesterday, I still feel terrible about it. Luckily for me, I was able to run to the girl and her father and apologize profusely. It helped... a little.
But what if I was not able to express my sincere regret? How much worse would I feel today?
What can we do when we mistreat a stranger but we never have the opportunity to try to make amends?
When it happened to R.J. Palacio, she decided to make amends by authoring a remarkably beautiful children's novel that would educate both children and adults to avoid her mistake.
She wrote Wonder. I'd like to sincerely thank her for doing so.
According to an interview with NPR in 2013, one day Palacio was at an ice cream shop with her children. She and her children were sitting next to a little girl who had very unique and uncommon facial features. As the author's three year old son began to cry in fear, she grabbed her children and "fled". Not only was she worried her children's reaction would upset the little girl, Palcio felt very uncomfortable.
That evening, Palcio became angry at herself.
"What I should have done is simply turned to the little girl and started up a conversation and shown my kids that there was nothing to be afraid of."
But it was too late. The possible teachable moment had passed. She would never see the little girl again.
So Palacio got to work on her apology. She apologized in the most beautiful and powerful way possible. She showed her remorse by creating August Pullman.
The book's title and opening lines are an homage to the 1995 Natalie Merchant song Wonder.
If you haven't heard the song or seen the video, check it out below. But while you watch, pay special attention to the people joining Natalie Merchant in the video.
According to Merchant, the song is about a child born with a "congenital disease"... and how that child will overcome these challenges. Not only does the video feature women and girls from many different nationalities, a child with Down Syndrome plays a very prominent role. We have come a long way. This fact might not be significant today... but this video was released 21 years ago. Natalie Merchant made a bold statement with this empowering song and video.
Thank you Natalie Merchant for celebrating "the wonders of God's own creation".
But what about the book itself?
First of all, I realize this is not a new book. It was published in February of 2012. However, with a movie version being released in November, I want to encourage families to read this book ASAP.
Wonder by R.J. Palacio is amazing. No. I am not trying to be cute. Each chapter literally amazed me.
How can a book use words and situations simple enough for a 10 year old to comprehend... and yet be so deep?
How can a book tell the hero's journey of a ten year old without seeming cliche?
How can a book written for children make me smile on every page while my eyes constantly welled with tears?
How did the author get inside my head and allow me to read this through my own children's eyes?
Amazing
Although Wonder is intended to be read by 10- 12 year olds, the lessons it teaches know no age limits. They are universal. They are Good.
Wonder tells the story of a 10 year old boy, August Pullman, who is attending school for the first time. Auggie happens to have a craniofacial difference which causes his face to look much different than other's faces. His eyes are set very wide apart and are far lower on his face than most. His ears "look like squashed pieces of pizza dough sticking out of the top of my neck" (211). At one point, Auggie describes himself as having a face that looks like it has melted.
Although Auggie's quest to overcome the challenges created by his face people's reactions to his face, is the driving force behind the story, he is not the only one with obstacles to conquer. That is the beauty of this book. All children feel like Auggie sometimes. They feel scared, ashamed, shunned, nervous, unpopular and awkward. Hopefully they also feel loved and supported... just like Auggie. Palacio fills Auggie's world with characters to whom we can all relate (if you are willing to remember what it was like to be a child).
Palacio tells the story from six different points of view. That may sound complicated, but somehow it is not. Each character's story models some trait that I hope my children emulate including: courage, compassion, strength, selflessness, kindness, forgiveness, acceptance, being a good friend, and standing up for what is right.
That is the other amazing thing about this book. I like to use pop culture to teach my children life lessons. Wonder is tailor made for this. In fact, several chapters begin with a life lesson presented in the form of a 5th grade English teacher's class precepts. (Yes she flat out make these concrete lessons part of the story!)
The story is also fun. Although the book is very emotional, Palacio does a masterful job of making sure to follow up the most stirring parts with a splash of humor. Most 10 year olds won't stick with a book that is too sad, heavy, or filled with lessons. An author needs to trick kids into reading those parts by surrounding them in action and humor. Palacio does this very well. There are no "boring parts" in the story. It is short and moves very quickly. My 10 year old daughter is constantly asking me to read her one more chapter. At this rate, she will finish the book in less than a week (I pre-read it in one night).
This book is filled with excellent life lessons and role models… and my daughter does not want to put it down.
Amazing
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The movie version of Wonder starring Owen Wilson and Julia Roberts will be released on November 17, 2017. I hope your kids are able to read it before then. Although I don't think the movie will possibly be able to do this book justice, I'm taking my kids on opening weekend no matter what. I am going to hold out hope that the movie will be... Amazing!
Small is the number of people who see with their eyes and think with their minds.
- Albert Einstein