Adult Problems That Nobody Prepares Us For (Part III)
This is the part III and final post in the "adult problems that nobody prepares us for" series. If you haven't read the previous parts, you can check out the first part here and the second part here.
I have loved what you guys had to say in the last two posts and I am glad that most people could relate to the problems that I mentioned and in fact made me see these problems in a different light. So, without further adieu let me list the final problems that I want to discuss today.
Absence of Clear Direction In Life
When we are students, all the way till college we are pretty much told what to do and how to do it but once we are out of college and start working, we realize that society just stops telling us what to do and how to do it.
Even though this feels liberating and is actually liberating, is also terrifying because without guidance most of us fail to see the clear direction that is needed in our lives.
In our childhood and teenage, things are often graded and they are clearly either right or wrong. But in the adult world, there is no such thing as empirical right or wrong, the adult world is just shades of gray.
Often there are times when there will be no such thing as a right or a wrong decision but we are still supposed to make a choice anyway without really having much to determine which option is the more right or the most right.
Dealing With Loneliness
When we are kids, there is always someone around us, be it a sibling, a parent or a classmate. We rarely are left completely unattended for any significant period of time and there is hardly such a thing as loneliness in our lives.
There are always people who take care of us, who talk to us, who listen to us and who advise us. Childhood is full of social interactions. But when we step into adulthood, everything starts to change.
Now there aren't people around us everytime, people who would care for us, listen to us, attend to us. Social interaction reduces to a bare minimum. Adulthood can be quite terrifyingly lonely.
A majority of adults go weeks without talking to anyone about anything not work related. They are left to their own to deal with any problems that may arise in their lives with no support system. This loneliness and having to deal with it throughout our adult life is something we are never prepared for.
Realizing How Hard It Is To Reach The 'Bare Minimum'
Everyone has goals in life. And a subset of those goals are 'reasonable goals'. These are goals that qualify as bare minimum and they vary on person to person.
For some people bare minimum is owning a house and a car, having a successful married life with kids and having a decent paying job while for others bare minimum is owning a boat, a dog and running a fish & chip shop by the beach.
It all varies but the point is that there is no one who doesn't have bare minimum goals in their lives. And these goals are usually decided upon during our teenage, when we are at the cusp of adulthood and ready to step into the real deal.
However once we reach adulthood and start working towards our goals, we realize that even reaching the bare minimum is very hard. There will be just so many uninvited problems and unnecessary obstructions in the path towards our goals and all of them just make it so difficult to achieve what we want to achieve. What used to seem easy when we decided upon it now seems out of reach with each problem life throws at us.
Bringing light on the first point, after I passed out from school I was in a dilemma on what to do next. I was always more than a good student so my parents always had that higher expectations from me. I wanted to choose a field in some creative corner on the other hand my parents thought it will ruin my future completely. I wasted 2 years of my life and only after that I was able to convince my parents to let me pursue interior designing. So, I want proper counselling to work in the favor of students.
I think most students are confused about what they should do after school. I sure was too and I kinda just went with the flow. Then I changed directions, and then I changed direction again. I think that is just life and you have to kinda get lost to eventually find your way.
Yes, till we live, we have to get lost a number of time. And then comes a point where no matter what happens, it does not have that consistent and pressurize impact on us.
Exactly!
The biggest problem here to understand is, we have a huge generation gap and the mental conditioning of our previous generations as compared to ours is entirely different.
Parents fear to take risks and choose stability over high-end lives which is not the case with our generation. The current generation is open to fail and learn, of course not all of them but a larger number I would say.
Yes, actually we really cannot blame our parents for anything as they only want our best. You picked up a very nice point that our parents fear to indulge in any sort of risk especially when it is related to us, we children. Our generation is so exposed to everything that at a time nothing affects much. Isn't it?
@freebirdkhushboo Agreed.
We are exposed to everything within seconds which is still a big deal to our parents.
Glad to connect. Keep rocking. 🙂
:) :)
Interesting assessment, yes it's hard to balance being optimistic and realistic in life (not to mention cynical), we want to give our children skills and hopes and positive energy, but keep them grounded as well. I'm learning that each phase of life has it's pros, being in the 40s i can't do things I used to, but I have more knowledge and ability to set my own agenda now and understand the value of time... anyways, ty
Yeah, life changes. That's just how it is. At different stages of life there are different responsibilities and parameters that define everything that you do.
From these problems, I was exposed the most loneliness.. My first work experience was in another country. From the first day until the last they I felt myself so lonely. Time to time I investigated my decision to come to that country and work here. After four years I got used to loneliness but with my current mind, I could never stay there more two years.. Being adult is pushing us to be lonely unfortunately. If you have a happy family life, I think you are being the most lucky person.
We have to make a lot of sacrifices in our adulthood for a lot of reasons, one of them being our loved ones. Ironically, this can entail spending time away from them into that dark abyss of loneliness.
loneliness is indeed very frightening spectre but do not let us fear to step to the fore, any risk in wading through life it has to confront us, and when we are able to deal with it then it will develop maturity in ourselves
It sure develops maturity. It builds character too. And that is important.
I agree to this of
Very true especially the lonely part. With no family of my own that hits hard sometimes. Luckily I have some good friends but they are far away.
I agree. It can be tough at times, especially when no one is around.
Life is not easy to achieve. It is very difficult to achieve something in life. But when it is achieved it is very fun. There are challenges in every field of life. And Challenge has to move forward. Then succeeded.
True that. It sure feels worth all the troubles when we finally achieve our goals.
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Thanks for this.
I am shot of words , you stated everything as it's in my mind .. being Ann adult may sometimes be lonely , we all need God to scale through it, because for sure trials , problems and tribulations will come .. being an adult is never easy.. thanks for the post
Yeah there are problems and there are solutions. I hope everyone is able to find the later :)
Very nicely elaborated and choice of the words are also great. You really got the point many of us finding same scenario so many times in life. Keep it up Sauravbhai. Being an Indian proud of you...
Thanks for the kind words. I really appreciate it :)
The biggest reason behind this is having no mentor in life. We are human beings and the world is changing. Life is full of distractions and opportunities are unlimited. It's really frustrating to have so many things around and not being able to make a choice. Another reason is lack of self motivation. Everyone wants to achieve everything but they aren't inspired enough to look for a mentor to guide them and act on things which are of critical importance at such an age.
Great observation Saurav!
Upvoted, resteemed and followed!
Agreed. The mentoring that we do get is useless too. That's because it is often given by people who have an outdated mentality and they want to inculcate the same old archaic ways of doing things in us, which we of course, do not agree with at all!