Grief and how to survive it

My brother Richard was lost overboard in 2013 at age 30.  We never found out what happened to him or why and the grief for my family has been long and difficult. 

I'm hoping some of the things I've learned will help you to overcome your griefs. 

Profound grief can come from a loss in many forms.  It is inevitable with the loss of a parent, child, friend, spouse, sibling.  It can be a loss by death, abandonment or betrayal.

[Annie Spratt on Unsplash]

But it can also be the loss of faith in a religion you have held dear for a long time, that formed your full scope of coping mechanisms in life & provided your extended ‘family’ before the rug was pulled from beneath you.  It can be leaving home to board at school or going to university, or a child leaving.

The cause of a grief can be obvious and recognizable by everyone & sometimes we discount something that seems too small to cause ‘true’ grief.  Often there is a lot wrapped up in a painful incident that you might not be consciously aware of.  It can speak to you from other griefs that you haven’t healed and call for them to be healed alongside. Trust your instinct. Acknowledging this can validate your feelings and cause you to be kinder to yourself.

A bereavement is likely to leave you gutted and helpless and might feel terribly unmanageable.   I’m here to offer some strategies that can make it livable and bring you through the healing you’ll need to do.  With this kind of support and these strategies, you can avoid hiding from your grief and avoid maintaining it as a wound that will not heal.  You can avoid having to hide from memories of the person that you lost in order to merely survive, losing the person more thoroughly in the process of hiding.

[Zach Giunta at Unsplash]

Homeopathy for grief

I have seen great help from a homeopathic remedy called Ignatia, especially when you cannot cry and need to be alone and the grief cannot lift.   You will feel a weight in your chest and likely a lump sensation in your throat.  You may have a bad temper too.  People frequently can’t behave well during grieving and if you are containing a lot of pain silently this can explode out as anger.  Forgive yourself and know you are doing your best right now.

In the first stages of grief, it can feel like a panic attack.  Aconite as a homeopathic remedy can help here to still the panic.  You are not going to feel wonderful, nothing can do that, but it is possible to weather the storms.

Usually, I would recommend a single dose of 10M potency [aconite if needed and then ignatia].  It can be ordered from www.Helios.co.uk or www.sourcehomeopathy.com in the USA.  If you are not so sure, contact a homeopath or Helios/Source who will be happy to help you, or book a 15 min chat with me at www.calendly.com/sallylloydhomeopathy/15. I can give you simple potency advice or book you in for a more thorough support call.

[David Sutton at Unsplash]

After a grief, acute health problems like pleurisy and quinsy are not uncommon.  Act soon and get help.  These can be healed with homeopathy.  I had to heal both pleurisy and quinsy for myself soon after my brother’s death.  Family situations can be very difficult and traumatic and add to the grief, and health problems caused by the strain.

After the death of my brother, I found this piece of writing incredibly reassuring.  I don’t want to forget him or hide him away so I don’t feel the pain, even if I could.

I hope G Snow’s writing will help you to know you will survive and that it will get easier to remember your loved one without being broken all over again and I hope homeopathy can help soothe you too.

 I really hope you will be able to come to terms with what has happened to you.  I hope this article goes a small way toward helping.

Best wishes

Sally