Do Relationships Have Hype Cycles?

There’s a concept out there called the hype cycle. It’s a simple yet meaningful idea taken from this graphical image created by the Gartner consulting firm.

Its intended purpose is to show the rise of emerging technologies, the waves of both actual usage of a new technology and popular sentiment about it, but rather than discuss it as a tool for IT consulting, I want to discuss how a person can apply it in life. Can we make better decisions using the hype cycle? Can it help us understand our relationships?

For example, if I think about my ability to produce good work, using the hype cycle actually makes a lot of sense. Regarding a new project or task, I often feel several of the stages along the way: inflated expectations, a downward slope of disenchantment when reality comes to bear, even a kind of plateau when I reach a point where things seem steady or perhaps too predictable.

Putting it in those terms is actually helpful to me. I can see that rough spots will even out and that it’s important not to overpromise when really excited. It’s easier to remember that overhyping and disillusionment are parts of the process, not final results. I find that very encouraging.

Looking for analogies to the hype cycle while thinking of human relationships is an interesting exercise. It would probably be called something else to better fit, but what would a hype cycle look like here? Where do most relationships end--at the trough of disillusionment, perhaps, or the plateau when things seem the same?

Imagine a friendship that just began: you might find that person to be incredibly cool or interesting, maybe the coolest person you’ve ever met, only to find at some point later that your friend has limitations and weaknesses just like you do. At some point, maybe it evens out and you really start appreciating this person’s friendship in a more even-handed way. That seems like the basis of a real relationship to me.

This week, I’m wondering what an interpersonal relationship-oriented hype cycle might look like.