Do never get into the game of blaming other people for your problems or your setbacks and most importantly your mistakes.
I wrote earlier how you must take responsibility of your life and by this I mean full responsibility.

look

Weather you believe in god or you don't, the conclusion is the same. You Create Your Destiny.
Do you think that god will punish you and he is the one who were in control, No. God knows what you will do in the future but he doesn't control your action, he can but he told you that he as gaving you freedom.

Stop making excuses, it's all you.