Why I'm Quitting Swearing
I just found out the other day that there is a by-law in my city that forbids people from swearing outside. I thought this was a pretty heavy handed move by the city so I researched it further - they group it in with other loud and unruly behavior like amplified music or fighting - but why mention swearing? Loud is loud?
They say swearing is strong language because it is. We make a choice when we swear to use the strongest words that our language has to offer.
One of my kids told me the other day that they now have me figured out - they learned about hyperbole in school. I rarely ever mean exactly what I say - swearing adds to this confusion even more.
Most of us were born into a society that has made many words taboo for casual conversation. This dangling of the proverbial taboo carrot elevates the power swearing has in our society. It can be incredibly divisive to use strong language in public speaking for example - but sometimes strong language is used intentionally to get a rise out of an audience or group.
Where did swear words come from? The one's we hear most often have an old history. Shit for example is an old English word that has been used since the 1500's meaning "an annoying/obnoxious person". Fuck is a Germanic word meaning "to breed" - its date of origin is hard to pin down because it was banned from being written down. We know motherfucker was first recorded in a court case in 1889 - according to Merriam Webster - the defendant was called a "God damn mother fucking son of a bitch"(I always thought the 19th century was boring).
Religion for the most part says that swearing is bad. Psychology says swearing can be good - it can create trust particularly in team building exercises. I have bonded with many people over swearing. In a group situation - everyone is trying to get a feel for everyone else - the first person who drops the "F bomb" is usually the person I trust the most in the group - they take a risk by being transparent - which probably means they have nothing to hide. Swearing can help people bond but it can also be divisive.
Sometimes we teach our kids - and sometimes that teaching comes back to teach us. I don't want my kids swearing casually - so why do I continue to do it? It could be the fact that I grew up without the internet and swearing was a way to pass time with friends. It could have been the evolution of music and film which (particularly in the 90's) glorified swearing (watch an old movie like "The Rock" or "Con Air"). There was a race to the bottom particularly with the popularity of hiphop that lead to an acceptance of strong language in popular culture - where a few decades earlier the word "damn" caused a commotion. It is very common even in "top 40" pop music to have explicit language that's barely bleeped out. Searing seems to have become more accepted in the mainstream - which means swear words are evolving to become something else entirely - swearing in the 1960s would get you a much different reaction than it does now in 2018.
What I do know - is the words we've established as curse words - no longer have the power to do anything but potentially confuse a situation. Have you ever sworn on the phone by accident and had the call center rep threaten to hang up on you? Being caught swearing in some situations gives you that same feeling you get when you call your teacher "Mom" in elementary school. The more society seems to accept these words the more their meaning changes and the less important they are at least in my speech. I've decided its time for me to do away with the four letter words which will require me to learn to speak less - or dip into my vocabulary more.
I've gotta do this cold turkey. I've tried the swear jar, I've tried other little games - but games don't do it for me. I don't want to replace curse words in my vocabulary with softer variations - I want to change the way I speak all together. I want to use words that accurately reflect my feelings rather than speaking using my "short vocabulary".
I'll know I've succeed when I say "ouch" for the first time...
Ryan Geddes is located in Toronto Canada. When he's not writing, hes helping with House&Canvas Chalk Finsh Furniture Paint.
We should be very careful with our words because words is very powerful, the way we said things reflects to us crucially and by controlling your thoughts is the best way to change ourselves for the better.
Wonderful work .. well done
The real disease here is anger
Which one must learn to control until it gets rid of its effects
Thank you for sharing your words with us..
Interresting and funny at the same time here.
In case you want to swear to somebody to trust you when talking to them, just avoid this one and dont ever swear in this kind of aituation.
Concerning shit and other ones, just do it and make sure it is only the concerned who heard you not some others around.
Usually people do a fine job of making themselves look stupid without having to point it out.. I don't want to become a "puritan" - im hoping for reduction more than total success.. We'll see.
I have read recently that more intelligent people swear more, so there's that.
Obama apparently swears "every other word" so perhaps you're right.. I'm not saying swearing doesn't have a time and a place -but I think when you use swear words to tie your speech together like saying "ummm" or "ughhhh" - you've probably picked up a bad habit!
It also depends on the country you are from. I am from Australia and generally people there swear a lot and it isn't particularly seen as being a moral outrage like it is in some places in the US. So I have to watch myself as I live in the US at the moment. ;)
Wow, this is great and good for you. I don't know if I'm committed enough to do this myself but I know I should. Keep us updated with how it's going.
I have a feeling it will be a constant work in progress!
Don't stop swearing. Say "fuck it" loudly and proudly. If you cannot swear, argues TAL18 (Nassim TALEB, Skin in the game, London: Penguin, 2018), you're probably not in a position of independence.
That's why there's the old joke. That candor is for the wealthy.
Maybe it really is that.
Prohibitions on speech arise, as Normal MAILER said (according to Ted MORGAN, Literary outlaw, New York: Norton, 2012), to repress the individual. To make them feel weak, and force them to use force in a permitted outlet, like politically contrived conflict. Whereas a swearing society is probably a more peaceful society. Paradoxically.
Youtube clearly demonetized swearing to weaken noninstitutional posters. They did not fear, if they wanted income, and were popular, saying whatever they wanted to say. Now they are afraid.
In contrast, institutional channels are empowered. This was to switch youtube to attract higher paying institutional channels, who being on television, cannot be as free to say whatever is desired when desired. To voice complaints in powerful language. They cannot compete with the internet, so Youtube leveled that field.
But the field is not level, because most content creators do not have equivalent marketing, nor market position. Not swearing when the situation calls for it is to fall for a scam.
I think the problem is - if you are a really good marketer - you know that using profanity excessively will turn off most of your base. I wouldn't say my reasons are economically motivated - it's a habit that got out of control - a habit that I developed under very different circumstances!
This reminds me of when Ricky goes to court in Trailer Park Boys.
"If I can't smoke and swear, I'm fucked."
@rgeddes Best of luck with your goal! 👍
haha
Thays a real Canadian courtroom! My friends were exactly like the Trailer Park Boys - except we didn't live in Nova Scotia. Ricky is a tame version of my old friends - but hes also not very bright (my friends unfortunately were a little smarter). I think I spoke like that to communicate with one group of people and then never evolved past it. As a Canadian - It'll be hard this summer to take a boat out and not say "fuck'n giver".
fuck man, that is some serious shit.
Wish me luck..
isn't salty language banned in Canada?
No.. its kind of a national past time - even our politicians swear at each other.. Watch "Trailer Park Boys" and you will understand the "rural" Canadian population...
Bubbles is like the smartest guy in the whole trailer park. Don't they only avoid hate speech because they are all white people?
That show is representative of a small minority in Canada (except for the weed obsession). We actually have very few trailer parks which I think made the show more amusing. We are an immigrant nation - in Toronto more than half of the population is from outside Canada..
Russel Peters is probably a better example of how the younger generation actually talks.. Where I grew up white people were certainly not the majority - nobody escaped where I lived without learning a little patois and at least one joke about every nationality...
Hi. I just wanted to wish everyone a perfect day
Me too, I want to change the way I speak all together. I want to use more positive and warm words.
Love the positivity - good luck!