Rationalizations
It's quite common. The practice of excusing negative traits by self-aggrandizing and projecting.
It's an annoying cognitive trait that reveals insecurities. But what can you do?
Rationalization marks people. You can smell it all around them. The need to be everything and for everyone. It's human adaptability gone wrong.
And if I'm being honest? The cure is to try.
(The pic is relevant. If you know why, comment below and you'll win
Insecurity is your friend
Although bimbos and other zombified humans express the notion of "self-acceptance", if you're a man (or a self-aware woman), you can't really go far with that mentality.
Well, that's not entirely true...
Accepting and seeing yourself for what it is, is, in fact, the cornerstone of healthy human development. But as with everything, dumb Suzan with her mastermind called "How showing my booty made me millions of dollars", dilutes and highjacks this principle.
If you've been reading me for a while, you know that I don't believe in the concept of "self-improvement". Mainly because it implies life is a sandbox*. I prefer the term "self-development" because it alludes to the fact that your life is simply the actualization of your pre-determined potential.
For most people, self-improvement is a slightly bigger box, trapping them. And in that box, comes a package that contains the accumulation of our teenage desires.
Here's the interesting part...
I believe that you HAVE to take care of those things:
- Social skills
- Money
- Fitness
The distinction? They're tools, not the end-game.
So, instead of escaping your life via podcasts, self-help books, and the gym you use these to enrich your life.
Insecurity is your friend. It twists your arm till you can't take it anymore and you have to do something about it.
The REAL bully
Rationalization will come from behind and tell you that Insecurity is an asshole for doing it and you should be the victim and go tell Mr. Brain.
The results are that you've lived the same life for over 10 years. And you've managed to make yourself feel good about it.
Because your actions are always "pure" and "unpretentious". If you're "authentic", then everything is excused.
Right?
The observer disagrees. He's seeing a middle-aged man with a beer belly and zero energy. He likes to make fun of people who work out but he LOVES sports.
The observer sees a woman that takes pride in being depressed and fucking tons of guys. She thinks sarcasm is a personality and partying is a hobby.
They say real life comes at you fast. It does. But we have developed ways to bend time (delay the experience) and insulate ourselves from our most harsh (and accurate) critics: ourselves.
My point?
I always want to give out some sort of practical advice. The rants are cool and all, but I'm just a young dude. I like to talk about stuff I've tried, so I know they've helped at least ONE guy (N=1).
But do you really need it in that case? It's self-evident what you have to do.
Your grandparent was right.
Hit the gym, get the girl, stack the money.
Sure, your personality is somewhat different and you seek deeper meaning...
But fuck you, you know?
This is just an excuse for being a dweeb pussy who spends way too much time playing vidya.
You want those things. You know it, I know it. And if you don't come in terms with that, it'll eat you slowly from the inside.
The key is to see them for what they're. People can get stuck in the pursuit of shallowness but believe me...
80% of you are not there yet. Don't worry about it.
So, go out. Get rejected. Fail that PR. Lose a bunch of money.
Plato can wait when you come home.
(Yes, you can be an intellectual, an artist, AND a degenerate. The idea of being a one-side crapman is a modern one. Did you know Roosevelt held boxing matches inside the White House?)
-Thatredbeardguy
P.S- Pssst... hey you. Yes, you. Wanna join a Cult? You can do it via clicking this link. It'll take 2 minutes and you'll be MINE!
The upside? You get to receive unfiltered, raw snippets from a life of trial and error (while I get to stroke my ego)
Pretty cool, huh?
Is the pic relevant because the person who took the photo was charming, or paid well, or had biceps?
One thing that drives me crazy is people who complain about something, ask for advice, you work out a plan together... and then you see them again and they rationalized their way into not fixing anything. I had some close friends like that, and once I worked out that they liked the attention more than the fixing, I had to give them away.
I'd agree that all the super driven people I know are driven by insecurities... and that totally works. My partner is a ridiculously driven musician, she works crazy hard at it, way harder than I've ever worked at anything, and it's all because her parents told her when she was 18 that music was not worth the risk. Her relationship with her parents is honestly amazing, and they're incredibly supportive... but she still carries that little nugget around because it keeps her working when she'd rather be couching it up.
Of course, insecurities should start to eclipse once the ball is rolling. But I agree, the hyper-successful people have a HUGE wavy, salted chip on their shoulders.
(Oooof, people who don't follow the advice they've asked for are kinda doom. Spot on example. Interesting thing is, asking for advice and then showing the adviser results, is the highway to earn respect!)
It totally is... when someone gives me good advice, I'll pretty much break my neck to get it all sorted before I see them next.... because of my own insecurities about wasting other people's time.
This was a nice pickmeup. I still have reservations against how much of a slacker I am, but really, we all make mistakes. There is no sense in fretting over it. I'm a jackass, sometimes.
I'm all about picking up man! Thanks.
I reckon a big part of being a slacker is just realizing that everything is fine.
If things were super broken, you'd work to fixing them...