Putting honesty in communication and how that helps

in #life8 years ago

I'm a little bent out of shape tonight so you'll have to excuse me. I was planning to deliver this post via YouTube but my Blue Yeti Microphone decided to wreck the audio on every shot I tried. Looks like I won't be delivering it until tomorrow, and only until my new microphone comes, thanks to Steemit’s generous rewards system. I've went and bought a Rode-NT usb. Reviews were cracking and users say they feel it's better than my current one. We'll soon see!

Alas, what I was planning to deliver via video I will be giving all of you in text. The video will come tomorrow, hopefully, if I get any sleep tonight. My son has awoken with a 38-degree temperature so he's not too well right now. I'm sort of fleeting back and forth from him at the moment and my attention is divided. Apologies if this is sub-par!

***

Honesty is liberating

Honesty in communication is the stepping stone into a new world. For me, it was essentially the way in which I transformed my life. It's not an easy thing to do, and I'm well aware that attempting this can be quite challenging for some as it was for me. It's not something that happens overnight, you don’t wake up and think, "Yay, I'm honest now," no. It's a very difficult path to take, honesty, especially when the world tells you that sometimes there are occasions when you have to be dishonest with others to protect yourself. I disagree.

Living a completely honest life is close to harmonious. Think about it, there is no need to pretend to yourself that things are fine when they obviously aren't. It gives you the common sense to go out there and tackle problems when they first appear, rather than pretend to yourself it's not an issue for the next decade. If there's always honesty then you're never having to think of what you said to whom and when to keep yourself out of hot water. There will also be no need to grow those lies; sometimes a lie can become a massive lie because we are too scared to admit the truth. Why put yourself through that?

Be honest with yourself

The first step to honesty is starting to better acquaint yourself with telling yourself the truth. You know, stop kidding yourself on. We can never truly lie to ourselves but we can brush our issues under the carpet so we don't have to deal with them. It's never a good idea though because unresolved issues come out in different ways. Chucking large pints of beer down my throat was one of my coping mechanisms for having a large amount of issues I really just wasn't dealing with at the time. Start being honest with yourself a bit more. Admit things that you probably wouldn't normally admit to yourself. Admitting to yourself that you're a numbskull at times is easy, but admitting that you are a devious manipulator is much, much harder. One thing that made it much easier for me through this journey was realising I wasn't the only one with bad qualities. Everyone has them. My best friend that I've known since seven is an awesome guy, but boy does he cling onto that control; at the core, he's a people pleasing manipulator, and that's just him. Many of us have these traits. The first steps are admitting them and then once we know we can do something about it.

Be honest with others!

Once you've started to open up to yourself a bit more and begin to realise that you're not the beacon of high-borne perfection that you once thought, then you'll find that you'll start to be honest with other people, after all, you've nothing to secretly hide away, right? When we're honest with ourselves then we less feel the need to lie to others out of poor self-esteem. We begin to realise that it's fine to not be the best at everything, something that's becoming far too common nowadays. Truth with others will begin to come naturally and you'll find that people will begin to trust you more. Nothing tears up a reputation like a stone-cold liar. I know, I used to be one. When you tell the truth all the time you'll begin to realise that people start to come to you for honest judgement rather than fake niceness. There is a way to give criticism without making it sound too bad. We call it the feedback sandwich in our trade, where you sandwich two positive criticisms in-between a negative to soften the blow. Hearing it may sound something like, "David, that's amazing work, perhaps you could have structured your last two paragraphs better, but that's the best I've seen you do so far! Well done!"

A gateway to other amazing stuff

Once you have a better hold of honesty then it opens up a definite platform of communication. People are willing to listen to you, and equally willing to speak to you, rather than just the normal "tell you how it is." It's a really liberating experience and I recommend everyone at least give it a try. Being constantly honest opens up pathways into trust and safety, and we'll talk about them another day.

Hope you've enjoyed this, thanks for listening.

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We all encounter different obstacles and sometimes it's hard to be honest with ourselves and face our own weaknesses and stupid mistakes. However, I do treasure honesty and this is what we all should learn.

You're so right there. Honesty is valuable :)

Good luck with the new mic. honestly the blue yeti is overrated and overpriced anyways. its a nice mic but overpriced. good luck!

Being honest with yourself is a tough thing to do, particularly for people who have built up a wall of ignorance. I often recommend they reach out to others that they trust (ideally 5 or more people) and ask for frequent feedback about their behavior. Chances are that if two or more people make the same comment, it's true, and the individual should begin looking for evidence of that in the things they do.

Do you have any other recommendations for people to become more objective about themselves?

Oh! That's a really good exercise!

I would also say another good exercise is to get 10 or so friends to anonymously write criticism on blank paper and put it in a box. Read it later away from them

Absolutely. Don't forget positive feedback, as well. Many people put themselves down even when they're quite good at a particular thing. They need to know that too!

Oh definitely! Any anonymous feedback is a plus. People are more inclined to say how they feel then. If it's good, or bad. The last service I ran, there was an anon feedback box I set up. Very interesting it was to be honest!

I can imagine it was quite interesting!

It was. I often got in to notes like, "Bring Jim back, you suck" Jim being the last IT guy they had, haha

😔. That sucks. Painful I'm sure. How amazing Steemit is here to be an outlet for you. You still needed the courage to put it out there, so that's gotta feel really nice. Hang in there buddy...

Thanks! Yeah, life has it's challenges lol!

Lol. From our lips to Jesus ears. What did Joe Dirt say? Oh yeah...we gotta keep on keepin on. 🤓

Hi Sir, happy to found your very interesting article here. What I can only say is that "reality bites..." It's hard sometimes to live under the virtue of being honest in our daily dealings. Some people may choose to hide the truth, some may cover it and others may put some colors on it. This behavior is happening frequently because of the fact that people don't want to humiliate themselves intentionally by accepting their own shortcoming. It really takes unwavering integrity and respect for yourself-- to live under the guiding principle of honesty. Yeah I really agree with you. The mastery of honesty begins by practicing it in your daily communication, not only to your wife, friends, love ones but most especially to me, for our children. They're seeing us as model of an honest persons. Lastly as a side track, I really like the way you balance the arguments here in your article and thanks for sharing it to us. Cheers :)

Thanks! :) - I really appreciate your comment!

Very well said. I hope your son is one the mend soon! I enjoyed this post,
great points. Getting honest with the self may not be easy but it has been the best practice I've integrated into my own life. :) ( Also, personally I enjoy text over video so this was great!)

Thanks! He's been to the doctors and has some medicine now which is good. Thank you! :)

Hey Raymond, sorry to hear about your son hope he gets better, don't let the stress of making a video take you over, you did great with the post, yea you might have not made a video when you wanted it but life happens. Im happy to see you make do with the challenges though. So thumbs up from me.

Great comment @cryptofixer. You're empathy resonated with me.

Thank you for sharing - this is absolutely wonderful!!! Upvoted and followed. If you follow me, you will see that I post a lot about wellness & fitness, health and mindfulness :)

I have followed you, yup :) - I'm big on mindfulness! Perhaps I'll get some fitness tips from you, which I lack in! :)

I am a body builder and competitor so I am sure I can provide you with some tips!!

Yes! Definitely check out my page!!

Very interesting post. Your are correct that truth and honesty are so important and quite liberating.

Thanks! They are!

Sometimes lies are useful too, they keep our sosciety functional. ^^

Ah, I don't agree. To lie is to deny your own truth :)

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