WHY AM I FALLING IN LOVE WITH MY BEST FREIND {diary reveal} part 2

With all the trails of each other,. Something so interesting came into my mind. It’s a voice that passes by like a swift wind with a message that you listen to and ignore until it becomes louder ;[ don’t you think you and her can match?} and in the first place it came as a fear and later developed into strength in a way . What is un imaginable is that the once build trust and stories now became harder to exchange between the two of us than before and to her side I thought she could noticed it and strange it was. I knew even people around us noticed that we no longer laughed as though there was no tomorrow in a sense. Un explain enable, the whole thing we had built went back to only knowing that you exist .the moment was an indirect fear of what we could became and how far we had shared with each other in other words insecurity of self of me and her,
Looking straight in her pretty glowing eyes became harder than lifting a heavy wooden wagon as well as seating close to her to me would be compared to standing in the way of a fasting running rodeo buffalo and she could realize it but would pretend as though it was not happening. her stories for me reduced and her sharing with me her secrete life styles was minimized and i knew had achieved a stage of confusion at that time but tried to make the whole thing look as though it was okay. And Came the whole thing of avoiding her in a way at to talk to her but not to always be around her.
During that time it was so hard for me to say anything like how are you, where you but all I know is I would make sure I would watch her steps the whole day. What’s funny, to her she had liked the idea, to my side It was really disappointing to see that the once close friend I had became a distant one yet in my next reach.
I wanted to talk to her but she may have thought that on my side it was a plan not to talk to her or probably a game that I had put in place and by wining one had to keep quiet the whole day. Interestingly she would find courage to at least say how you? When we happened to meet t along a path way.
As a person, I had achieve a stage of fear for her in a sense that she was not scaring neither aggressive but it was a feeling within me had to describe. it is a feeling that feels you up from within, creates tension with your confidence and like a mouse trapped in a cage takes all your hope of ever coming out to regain freedom of speech together with silence compared to a convict before a panel of judges.
I tried so much to get her to talk me but still all my efforts didn’t work out and what I remember so much was during this time she looked her best both in appearance and actions, her voice would strike out like a guitar string struck with in an empty room and even though she was behind me a few cent meters relating with other people, I dint have to turn to know which ferry tail was speaking, her ever glittering ear rings would shine even when it was a rainy day with no sunshine coupled with her long rainbow tail like dresses that drew attention from who ever looked at her from a distance.

Like the fast rain drop after a dry season, she introduced issues of me not only being a friend but someone who mattered to her. And in a conversation she said;
BECKY: how are you smith?
SMITH: am fine and you pretty one
BECKY: do you benefit when you don’t talk to me?
SMITH: oh no! it’s not the case?
BECKY: do you think I like what you are doing?
SMITH: of what in this case?
BECKY: really! You don’t know?, Mr. so silent busy.

The whole meaning had changed from friendship to concern for one another. What I remember is they were just words but I don’t know how they kept own haunting me, I tried to really look into my fruitless useless actions in which I benefited nothing but being ignored by her because she never at any one moment bother to ask me what I was up to and there I would stand move alone with no company from her.
What was hurting is that she associated more with most of our friends we had in common than ever before who were male, she would talk, discourse and close hug with them and like a proud magician seeking attention from on lookers swiftly made sure I watched every last one bit of the action.
Out of the blue, missing her set in together with minding about who she had lunch with or talked to most especially the men who went close to her. And compared to a lion that slowly moves in on its prey, sniffs their past movement and tresses their location, my eyes automatically would tress for her among the crowd of work colleagues. {please vote for me follow me reward me for more diary reveal steem bost me)it will be worth it