Dude. You're 23. 23!! You know what that means? Your life has barely begun! 3 years is nothing compared to what's ahead of you! Your life could be completely different in 3 months, let alone 3 years or 23 years!

Sure you could've done better in the past, but that's true for everyone. But what's done is done and you can't change the past. There's no use in ranting, wallowing in self-pity or mentally abusing past-you for making mistakes. That won't change anything. Also, it's not true you're failing - you have a job, you have a place to live, you manage to pay rent and bills. That's more than many people out there manage to do!

What you can change is the present and the future. You know the saying - the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, the next best time is now.

You say you're so over this - good! Snap out of it now and do something good for yourself immediately. Look up counseling/mental health services at your college. Or your doctor's office. Call them and set up an appointment right now. They'll know what to do, so it doesn't matter if you "don't know how to express yourself". It's possible you're facing depression, and they'll know what the next steps are. Your job is to set up the appointment. If it's the middle of the night, email them. Or write down their number and put it next to your phone and call them first thing in the morning.

Then turn off your PC/phone immediately. Tidy up your place a little (physical clutter is linked to mental clutter and doing something right now will give you a boost to feel better about doing something more next) and then go to bed. Get a good night's sleep.

Tomorrow, eat a healthy breakfast and then do something that gets you one step closer to any of your goals. You don't have to change your whole life in one day, but you do have to take one step in the right direction. Even the longest trip begins with the first step. Don't think about everything you need to do to get there, just keep taking one step after another.

Alright, now stop reading this and go make that call.