Dear self
It is not wrong to be weak for sometimes, it is not wrong to be in a place where you dont know what you should do for once in your life, When your plans got ruined, and you broke into pieces. What is wrong is to envy others because they become strong enough, what is wrong is to filled your self with hatred because you are not become brave enough, what is wrong is to make your wound deeply than to seek for healing by blaming your self. It is not wrong to make mistakes, what is wrong is to get stuck with it even you already know what you should do. Your plans can be replan again, if it fails then plan again until you reach where you really belong. Trust God for His perfect plan for you. Have faith that things will get better soon you just need to keep holding on. :-) :-) Love yourself enough to accept what you cannot do and let God handles what you cannot control.. There are some people who got through with this and they become successful. Have faith, have courage, and have love with your self. :)