Super Bowl XXLIV or XXVVIL or Whatever It Is In Roman Numerals

in #life7 years ago

It is Super Bowl and, even though I have not watched a lot this year (look at my blog archives and you will know why), I feel the need to weigh in on this game. I do every year. I know about the teams and think I know who is going to win, but I must express one truth:

I don’t give a damn who wins.

That’s right. The NFL could not have had a worse season for me. The rules have destroyed the game. The games are longer (instant replays increase game time by at least twenty minutes), there are too many penalties and the players are making asses out of themselves. Two games after the league lifted the celebration ban, Odell Beckham scores a touchdown and then simulates a dog relieving himself on the goal post. So I stopped watching.

Then the playoffs happened. And I missed them too. And that means something. I am lucky enough to have a girlfriend who does not adore the television like I do. She is weird; she actually likes to go out and do things instead of staying at home. Stupid things like running, hiking and going to the movies. So I was not home during the playoffs. I caught the abridged games on the NFL Network, but even those I just glanced at.

Then came the Pro Bowl last Sunday. I missed that too. Well, I didn’t miss it, really. The Pro Bowl sucks very much.

But I will watch the Super Bowl. The Eagles and the Patriots. That is another loss for the NFL. The only people that like the Patriots or Eagles are from Boston or Philadelphia. Boston is a beautiful city. But the people suck. I kept hearing about how the people of New York were really bad. But then I went to New York and then Boston. The people of New York were, for the most part, great but Bostonians are so annoying. Always yelling and pissed off.

Philadelphia is a sh*****e (unlike President Trump, I’ll admit I said that). It is dirty, small, smells bad and is dangerous. Oh, yeah, the people suck too. You know it is true. This is a city that threw snow balls at Santa Clause during Christmas. And don't even get me started on the Liberty Bell (what a disappointment). The only saving grace for the Eagles winning the Super Bowl is the fans will probably burn the city down.

So, I don’t care who wins. If the Patriots win, we will be smelling Boston farts for the next year and have to listen to all of the new conspiracy theories of how Brady got a picture of a referee blowing a turtle and that is why they won. If Philadelphia wins, the city will burn down and the Liberty Bell (which ain’t as big as it looks) will melt away.

So I don’t care. I am ranting.

And why can’t the Super Bowl be on a Saturday?

Oh, yeah. New England wins 32-21.

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TimeMagazine.com

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