There's definitely a lot to digest here. I think the first thing that comes to mind is ego. Acknowledging it exists is different than attempting to negotiate, tame, or suppress the ego. I think will is the key, to accepting our ego as part of our whole, not a master or servant. It flares up, and we should observe it and try to understand why it is flaring. It serves a function within us, but like any imbalance, it can also lead to a diseased state.

Your travel through the world, including your experience with the self help phenomenon, serves a purpose too, here right now for the collective consciousness. You're a creature of the Galaxy, go a little easier on yourself, there aren't too many of us around. Instead of chastising your naivety, embrace the knowledge and learning that comes with the realization of how much belief can motivate us to act, whichever way that is. It's only belief that paints our world.

This read like the journal entry of an emotionally intelligent and aware person. I suspect you're on a good track. Thanks for sharing these thoughts, a lot of people battle them daily.