This. ^

The way you feel is normal. Every Christian has periods of doubt and times when they don't feel close to God. I think organized religion is the problem. It fails us as humans. It sets a lot of rules and ideals for you to follow and there's the whole building full of people watching to see if you do or not.

When I was a little older than you (almost 20 years ago), I went through a period when I questioned everything I'd been taught. I had to find a way to reconcile what was happening in my life with my faith. There was a time when I'd almost completely turned my back on God and He reached out to me.

Needless to say, the doubts have been gone since, but I don't attend church anymore. In the process, I lost pretty much my entire friend base. Think it through. Process your thoughts fully. Prepare for a disconnect, but know that you can recover. I wish you the best on your journey.