Producer Envy

I have to be honest here. Seeing other producers play to a crowd of hundreds and/or thousands of people, seeing them chart on Beatport and iTunes, seeing them get hundreds of thousands of plays on sites like Spotify, YouTube, and SoundCloud, and seeing them collaborate with some of my heroes (or just artists that I really want to work with), and seeing them have all that success overall, makes me kinda envious of them sometimes (but in a good, non-personal way).

This is a big reason why I don't really check their social media profiles. In a lot of ways, this is a good thing. Not seeing their socials helps me to focus on building my own career, minimizing distractions (which there are already a lot of them around here to begin with), and putting all my time and energy into getting better at my craft. But at the same time, I like looking at their profiles for motivation.

I have no animosity towards my peers. A lot of these people I look up to and have been very influential on me as an artist. It's nothing personal at all. I just want to be where they are, that's all. I want to be playing alongside them. I want to share both my love of music and my craft with them and everyone else on a larger scale. This is just frustration over not meeting my expectations yet.

Pursuing a career in music is really fucking hard. It takes a long time to become successful in this industry (it really feels like an eternity sometimes). There's a ton of competition and everyone wants a piece of the pie. I knew what I was getting myself into when I decided to pursue this path, but still…You never really know how its really like until you actually do it, I guess that's what I'm trying to say.

As tough as this path may be, I wouldn't trade it for anything else in the world. Sure, it has its (huge) ups and downs, but it's incredibly rewarding. This is something that's super-challenging and I just love a good challenge - plus its lots of fun. I've learned a ton of things and it has really increased my self-confidence levels (not that I needed them in the first place, but there's always room for improvement). I'm enjoying every minute of it.

Every one of those minutes spent on music, is me getting one step closer to my ultimate goal, which is to make a name for myself and become an influential figure in the music industry/community - and to a broader extent, culture.

I'll get there eventually. I just have to keep working at it. I need to continue to focus on myself. But most of all, I have to preserve my appetite for that type of success. That's really the only way I'll be able to get what I want.