When It Rains, It Pours

Hi Murphy, sit down let’s have a chat

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If your name is Murphy, you are not the Murphy I’m talking about. You are probably a fantastic person that brings joy to the people you come in contact with, the Murphy I’m talking to is the one that comes when you least expect it and always uninvited…

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Hi Murphy! I see you have come to visit… again, and you have pitched your tent and made yourself comfortable. You have been hard at work this last couple of days, haven’t you? Now, I know it sounds like I’m implying that you are the reason that things went wrong, and logic would dictate that, no you are not the reason for all the wrong, and that it was simply your name that was used to give a name to this phenomenal law that says what can go wrong, will go wrong. But you know, I’m not feeling like the most logical piece in the puzzle at the moment and I need someone to blame for all the inexplicable wrong that has happened in a quick succession of events. So, tough luck! Next time try not to be such a negative Nate, alright?

It may not seem fair to you that I’m laying all the blame at your feet, I understand that, but this is not about fairness. It’s like you are the middle child and you get all the blame; it can’t be the oldest, because they are too “responsible” to cause so much trouble, it can’t be the youngest because he is the doted child who does no wrong. So Murphy, it’s time to man up and face the facts that you are to blame. (this does not apply to all middle children, Murphy is just the natural jerk of the family)

You barge in unannounced at the most inopportune times. I mean, if you had waited 2 weeks! That’s it, 2 meager weeks, we would have been okay, and your presence would have been a slight bother. You just had to come now, didn’t you? If you had waited 2 weeks, the outcome would have been more like this:

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I would have owned you, Mr. Murphy, but alas as it stands, today all I can do is write you this. But I want you to know, Murphy, I'm not giving you all the credit, you may have come at me with your normal consecutive punches, but you are not as strong as Saitama, and I'm more like Vegeta, I get stronger with every punch you throw. (I think I hit my maximum quota of anime for one paragraph). Next time I see you, I'll be stronger, wiser and more prepared. For now though, I stick to my belief that you are just my verbal punching bag and everything happens for a reason.

“The universal aptitude for ineptitude makes any human accomplishment an incredible miracle”
Col. John P. Stapp