28

Let's talk about being 28
I know I am overdue for a post and since the wonderful and not entirely subtle @kubbyelizabeth gave me a wonderful and extremely passive aggressive gift, I feel like I must.

January was my birthday month. Mine and 99 other people, but mine nonetheless. And it was wonderful - I was celebrated to the full extend of my age, I celebrated the whole month and I was surrounded by the people whom I love the most.

Kubby planned this whole wine tea party for me in a Korean owned french bakery -- heavenly, I tell you. Seriously, where on earth can you eat sweet croissant, drinking some boba tea while waiting for your Beef Bulgogi to come out, and finishing off the meal with a couple of flower-flavored french macaroons and a bowl of Bingsoo? And because my best friend is who she is, we were also drinking smuggled wine in fancy vintage tea cups.

Let me tell you, this was a golden start for my 28th year. The week following my little Korean-French birthday shindig was series of restaurant outings to celebrate my birthday, and I mean, when other people are paying... I was eating like calories were a myth and the next bite was bringing me closer to enlightenment. Definitely not my most accomplished week, specially since I'm in the middle of a 45 day transformation challenge with my gym -- a challenge I paid to join, a challenge with a nice cash price that could pay for my most desired Europe trip, but you only turn 28 once, right? And regret is for the younglins... I'm an adult now.

But the celebrations did not end in January, no sir it did not. Me and 3 friends whose birthday are also in January decided to take a quick weekend getaway and so to Jupiter we went. Jupiter, FL that is. We climbed a lighthouse, napped in a hammock garden and kayaked for the first time on possibly the windiest day of the year. We also flipped over in our kayak and saw a baby manatee. All in all, it seems like 28 is going to be a great year.

But 28 is also a bit awkward.
I'm at an age that no one really looks forward to. I've hit all the coming-of-age milestones and now I'm in the middle, the in between, the age you have to be in order to be something else. I'm more of an adult now, I know that because I'm not always ID'ed anymore and I have about 8 gray hairs. I'm not considered young adult but not quite at that confident womanhood stage that apparently comes in your 30's. I'm married, which I believe is a pretty definite sign of adulthood but I'm barely keeping my cat alive so I'm not sure if I'm ready for motherhood quite yet.

I don't feel completely grown-up. I do grown-up things, like paying bills and taxes, and making doctor's appointments. On the other hand, I also like to invest some time with my coloring book and spend a whole day playing video games and taunting my husband every time I beat him in Tekken ( I beat him a lot).

I still think about what I want to be when I grow up...

I am a strong believer in the experience, It's all about the journey for me, probably because I'm not a big-picture person. I'm a enjoy-every-step-look-at-the-details-let's-take-some-detours kinda gal. I will take the longer route if it means I experience something new. I love all new experiences.

So climbing lighthouses, kayaking and flipping over all add to my "I'm a more experienced now" list which makes my heart giggle with the joy of new experiences.

Getting laid off I suppose is also part of the experience of growing up.

That is another first for me on my 28th year. I haven't been unemployed since I was 19 or 20. Every job I've had in the past 8 or 9 years I have been referred to. I am in uncharted territory and I am not freaking out -- that is also a first.

I am as emotional as they come. A cry-baby wrapped up in a bubbly timid mess and because of that I expected me to cry, wail and ugly sob. I expected me to feel outraged and slighted. If not angry, to feel at least depressed, feeling like the rug was unjustly ripped off my feet but that is not how I felt. I loved my work: the culture, the people, the work that they do, the mission they stand for. Working for a christian non-profit was the happiest I had ever been at a job and the most fulfilled -- when they told me, and the 10 other people that got laid off, that our whole department was being outsourced all I felt was peace and understanding.

I felt peace but I'm not superhuman, I was shocked and I did cry but more for the people I will miss and the work I wish I could continue doing. I understand because I love everything the organization I worked stands for, and if outsourcing my department in order to continue keeping administrative cost at less than 2% so that the money being donated could benefit the people its suppose to benefit the most then I respect and admire the hard decision that had to be made. It may seem like a loss for me but life happens, it happened on Friday and it's happening now, and I remain certain that God is in control and that I have no reason to fear or worry. Maybe this is part of growing up too, of maturing and becoming an adult.

I am now an adult that has been laid off for the first time and who is going to go job hunting. I am 28 feeling unequipped for an adulthood that I am already living and lacking a bit of direction on that path I'm already taking but also with a sense of excitement and expectation, because when a door closes it means there is a whole lot of room for a new one to open, a new path to unfold and can you picture all the wonder that is about to unfold? All the new experiences? Hardships too, but with that comes growth and with growth confidence and who knows, maybe by 29 I'll know what it means to be an adult.

I don't know about you, but I am darn excited.