Anxiety vs Me - Who wins? (my anxiety disorder story)

After all these years, I had finally found an answer to my questions. I finally knew why I had panic attacks since my early childhood. I had just learned that I had a generalized anxiety disorder. Well, said like that, it looks like I have a serious degenerative disease, but in fact, it just means that my brain likes to worry about everything and nothing.

Anxiety is only another evil that is gaining more and more our society in need of life, especially young people. As a person but also as someone experienced in the field, I can easily see the evolution of this mental illness around me. The format of the society in which our children are born and evolve is completely disproportionate and oppressive. We could talk about the cult of beauty that wins girls from the age of 5. Or we could talk about our children's performance anxiety because we ask them too much.

As far back as I can remember, I started having anxiety at the age of eight or nine . Every morning, I cried at school, without exception. I did not quite understand why as a child I had this feeling of discomfort and anxiety. The school management had summoned my parents, but no one saw what was really happening. They just thought I was a troubled child, so I had to deal with my anxiety problem alone. As a child, I remember having lived these days of sadness for at least half of the year. Then one morning, when I was tired of being in this state, I decided to play with my friends to try to change my mind. I quickly found a way to evacuate these worries that won me every morning. I played every day, without exception, I had finally found my way out.

I did not hear about anxiety until Secondary III. Until then, I myself had thought that I had just been disturbed during this period of my childhood. At the age of 15, my anxiety returned to power in the form of panic attacks. I thought I was going crazy, losing my head. I locked myself in my home, believing I was safe from this disease that was gaining me as soon as I came out of my comfort zone. As the days wore on, the comfort zone grew smaller, to the point where I was confined to my room. I waited, believing that the crises would leave as they came, on their own.

I ended up falling into depression. We can not stay six months in this state without suffering consequences. I went to see my family doctor who prescribed me a medication, but also a group therapy. In less than two weeks, the medication started to work and I felt better. Therapy helped me understand my illness, but she did not learn how to manage it. I had to relearn how to live, neither more nor less. Learn to live in the present moment, learn to use my thoughts as a tool rather than being overwhelmed by them. I read a lot about it, started meditating, playing sports regularly and avoiding situations that could easily turn into anxiety. I did a lot of self-help for lack of good resources for this kind of disease.

And if you, reader of this post, you feel concerned by my story. Or even if you know someone, an adult, a teenager or even a child who is desperate to understand his problem of anxiety, I invite you to leave me a comment at the bottom of this post, it will make me a great pleasure to know that im not alone and that im not the only one fighting this!

Thanks for reading !