Love is giving
It has always been the case that we always want the other person to give more in our relationships as a way to prove love and validate it.
Adler tells us that a marriage relationship is also a partnership, to take the initiative to care for each other, and to care for each other more than we care for ourselves, so that it is truly cooperative.
This has a subversive effect on my previous perception that happiness is actually about getting satisfaction and joy from giving, isn't it?
There is also a saying that feelings are not the more you give the more you can get happiness, feelings are giving without expecting anything in return, a higher level of love, which is perhaps the true meaning of happiness.