Enie, Meanie, Minie...oh?
There are times in our lives where we have to make decisions. Decisions that will one day lead us down a path that we either most desired or a path that we would not wish upon even our worst of enemies. Sometimes it can catch you with split second thinking or it can come after months of planning. Most of the time we make critical decisions without giving a second thought about it. Trusting in ourselves and the people around us to stand by what we believe to be right and true. Then there are the moments where you can see the fork in the road. Where its either I do something and my entire life will change or stay with the way things are. This moment has to be one of the most terrifying moments in a persons life.
When I started my career as an apprentice I still lived at home with my family and relied on them to take care of me. Before starting in the trades I was an assistant manager/ housekeeper full time making very little money and not having hardly any responsibilities. I had worked a Twenty-one days straight in November for my very first shift before getting laid off. I only had a small taste of what it was like to work in the plants and be so far away from home for such a long period of time. Then my father gave me a number to call to get a name hire. I made the call and was hired right away. My starting date was February 14th. Valentines day.
I was very excited to go to work again. My mother drove me and dropped me off at the airport, we said our good-byes and she drove herself back home. I proceeded to go through security and found a seat in the lobby while I waited to board the plane.
That's when it hit me. I began to feel sick to my stomach. My entire body broke out in a sweat. My chest was tight and I couldn't breath. I felt as if the entire room was staring at me. I was scared as hell. Scared is not the proper word for it. I was petrified. What in gods name was I doing there? I held my phone in my trembling hands staring at it as if it was going to light up and make every emotion I was feeling at that moment go away. I wanted to call me mom. I never wanted to hear her voice so badly. I wanted her to turn around and pick me up and drive me back home immediately. I wanted the safety of my cozy basement bedroom. I wanted to be surrounded by my art with a cup of coffee and my Xbox. That's where I was safe. That is where mom and dad could take care of me and I would no longer have a worry in the world once again. But my dad had pulled done a huge favor for me (one that i hadn't realized until years later) and I could not disappoint him.
In that moment I saw it. I could either continue to be useless and hide in my parents basement or I could try and make something of out of my life. It took everything I had in me to get on that plane and to not call my mother. I had the relentless feeling to run as fast as I could but I knew what I wanted. I got on the plane. The minute the plane took off the feeling left. The decision had been made and my new path in life had been chosen.
A few months after getting that job I got my learners licence, my own apartment, bought all my own furniture, and started to support my now ex fiance. I started to open up more and had one of the best crews I could ask for. When I went back to school I got 90's on my builds and my theory exams. I had become very good at my job and most important I have never regret my decision.
To anyone out there reading this, BE BRAVE! If you so desperately want to do something but you are over come with fear of what might happen. Take a leap of faith. Believe in yourself and live your life exactly the way you want to live it. If you need advice or just a random ear to listen to you. Leave a comment or send me a message. I'm more than happy to help.