Rules of my childhood football game

In my days growing up was fun, having lot of friends to talk and play with. We would worry about nothing. I really miss my childhood days but the truth is aging is inevitable so I'm now a grownup. As a football fan, I'll talk about my childhood football since I miss that part so much. Childhood football was fun, it was interesting and wonderful. The rules were not like that of FIFA's but it was perfect to us and we loved it. I'll outline them for you.

Football Rules Of Our Childhood

1. The fat ones were always the goalkeepers. We had the mindset that when the fat ones protect the goal post it would be difficult to score a goal because due to their sizes they would occupy the goal post. So we always make them the goalkeepers.

2. There was no referee. No one wanted to be a referee, we all wanted to play.

3. The two best players can't play on the same team, they must always play against each other.

4. The owner of the ball decides who plays and who doesn't. So if you are not in good relationship with him just know you will not play.

5. If you were chosen last to a team, it means you don't know how to play. And we call such people 'waste pipe'.

6. We would kick the ball in the air to begin a match.

7. The owner of the ball can foul you. But if you foul him, you will be sent out of the game by him. So you will always be very careful not to foul him when playing against him.

8. If there was just one best player he would be on the same team with the owner of the ball.

9. To distinguish teams, a team would play shirtless.

10. The game ends only when all players are tired (Except for rule 11).

11. If the owner of the ball gets angry, the
    game is over.

12. It's always massive attack and massive defence.

13. When the ball goes out of the playground to a remote destination, it's the hitter who's going to get the ball.

14. If there was a penalty the goalkeeper would be replaced by the best player of the team, because we believed the best player was also good at catching the ball. And after the penalty, the goalkeeper returns to his goalpost.

15. We played on bare foot. Boots were not allowed.

16. No matter the score, the team that scores the last goal wins the game.

Feel free to drop your comments and contributions if you had such a wonderful childhood like I did.