It’s impossible to describe how the mind of another anxious person exactly works, the symptoms feel hugely different in each one of us, so I have no choice but to talk about mine. And of course, I will tell you some of the things I have researched about this condition, added to what I called "bonus track" -because it doesn’t has to be all grayscale in this post-.

Who knows when this emotional rollercoaster exactly took place. But since I have memory, I’ve always worried too much about absolutely everything. I dare to say that sometimes I am more anxiety than a human being (ugh!).

I own the picture

Naturally my mind is unstoppable, with or without anxiety. I'm always thinking about something, I'm always into something ... whether it's designing ideas for my articles, making plans in my head, remembering favorite experiences and not so favorite ones, or reviewing everything I have left to do for the rest of the day. And usually find myself wandering as an escape from reality… that's the way I am, I disperse pretty easily.

Everything’s ok with my thoughts until I go from control to lack of control. Can you imagine how overwhelming this can be when you are a 'control freak'? It’s insane.

Certainly the dynamic changes dramatically when what the dictionary defines as "a state of agitation and restlessness of the mind" has invaded me. The distractions go flat. I lose control over what I think, feel and do. Right then, my head’s violently attacked by obsessive thoughts, provoked by some situation that has generated me anguish or uneasiness over the day.

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Not to mention the drastic changes… they are a hellish magnet for anxiety. Even though, in occasions no reason is needed. Anxiety likes to tear your soul apart without a need for invitation, because it doesn’t give a fuck.

And there's no way I can ignore anxiety, my anatomy reminds me of it with every shock wave I receive in the center of the chest. All I become is a showcase of uncomfortable sensations. The hands tremble, the feet become cold, the body weighs and the soul too. The tongue is dead, knows no flavors, and the relativity of time makes more sense in this state. If it is day, afternoon, dawn or night, the lethargy marks the hours.

This is the most challenging part: the discomfort, the symptoms. Especially if it comes with the feeling that something really bad is about to happen, when the truth is: who the hell I am to be so sure about such things?

On Google I found one of the characteristics of anxiety is the alteration of the perception of reality, for that reason we set scenarios which lose complete coherence with the days. Anxiety clouds our heads, it is what we have to understand. If you are an anxious person, I tell you, it takes a while to do it, but it is possible to rescue your center from this temporary mismatch.

Inhale, exhale. Walk, take a deep breath, listen to music, scream, dance, jump!. Drain whatever it is draining you. Unleash the knot ... discover how, do not get used to it. Convince yourself that whatever will be, will be. Anxiety will not accelerate or stop anything in your life, because the only thing we gain from it is paralyzing ourselves.

Music is known for its healing powers. Precisely what I have called "Bonus Track" are musical recommendations that have worked for me to clear my mind during my anxious periods. Give them a try, maybe this playlist will work for you too :D

Feel free to tell me your story. Hope you enjoy the music somehow:

Yann Tiersen - comptine d'un autre été

Anathema - Thin Air

Ludovico Einaudi - Nuvole Bianche

Peter Broderick - And It's Alright

M83 - "Wait"

Poom − Les Voiles