THREAT TO THE LIQUOR INDUSTRY

A new poll (by somebody) indicates that over 70% of Democrats would give up drinking if President Trump was impeached. I assume by “drinking” the pollsters were indicating that the Donkeys would give up consuming alcoholic beverages. I was too lazy to look up the number of people in this country who consume alcoholic beverages every year but it obviously runs in the millions. Personally, the last time I encountered a person who told me they never drank alcohol was in, hmm, I can’t remember. Americans like their alcohol. But make no mistake, alcohol is very bad. You can spend an inordinate amount of time detailing all the bad results of drinking alcohol and you would be right. Attacking the consumption of alcohol is a quick way to feel absolutely self righteous. Instead, you should blow dope, especially Mary Jane ( do they still call it that?). Or maybe not. Anyway, we tried to eradicate alcohol back in the day. We called it “prohibition” a seemingly appropriate term. It failed. The continued consumption went under the radar and led to a whole new lexicon of such quaint terms as “speakeasies.” Being a rich industry, those dispensing liquor I’m sure will rally behind trying to turn this narrative around. One way they can accomplish this end is by pointing out that liberals overwhelmingly imbibe wine as opposed to Red Necks who apparently prefer beer. Think of all those big Hollywood parties that would be adversely affected by people left to sniff coke or take a toke without consuming their wine. And what about another favorite liberal beverage, speaking of beer, “craft beers.” There is a burgeoning industry surrounding locally brewed beers that hits home with liberals. What a devastating impact if they all stopped visiting these wonderfully independent non big corporate beer sellers. But don’t worry. I predict that this opinion by the libs will be like their vow to leave our country if Trumpee was elected. The list of celebs who vowed to do so was long. So far, I haven’t heard of any of them that have actually done so. Perhaps, as G. Clooney, they will actually leave their palatial estates in Europe and move back to the good ole U.S. of A. because they want to avoid the possibility of terrorist attacks. As a registered indie, I am so glad I’m able to avoid this partisan bickering. Maybe, the best position to take is not to throw your personal drinking habits into the political fray. Or your basic loyalty to the country you were lucky enough to be born in. Maybe, well, I have to end this missive now because after several single malt whiskeys, I’m beginning to rely too heavily on spell check.