So this is a little story that Ive been working on in my free time. Was looking for some honest opinions, so I came here. Please critique me as necessary. Read away!

Chapter 1:

Its bright. Overwhelmingly bright. I try to open my eyes, but it burns at first. I’m lying down in a bed, but I don't know where I am. Theres a lamp next to me and a tv on the wall across from the bed. Soft colours. Baby blue walls, big window, white ceiling. This bed is strange and not very comfortable. What is that beeping sound? I turn around and see the monitor with the repetitive ups and down. It must be a heart monitor. Am I in a hospital?

There’s something touching my hand. I look over and see a girl. Who is this? I know her. But why cant I remember her name? Am...? No. Anna...? No, that doesn’t seem right. Aha! Andrea. My beautiful girlfriend. Her skin soft as silk, eyes as blue as the sea, and a smile that could make the whole room light up. My head hurts. I reach up to investigate and feel something rough covering my head. Its a bandage.

I pick up my hand, the one that Andrea has hold of, and reach for the remote to the tv. She wakes up in a fit, looking like she doesn’t know where she is for a moment. She has bags under her eyes and she looks like she hasn’t gotten a good nights sleep in a long time. She looks at me and her eyes brighten but get softer as well, as if a large weight had been lifted off of her shoulders.

“How long was I asleep?” I ask. I notice that my mouth is a bit dry. That makes it a bit uncomfortable to speak. She looks at me, and I could tell that she was searching for the right words. “Honey... You’ve been in a coma for two weeks” she says in a quiet, soft voice. And this is when she starts to cry. She put her head on my chest and through her sobs she says, “I missed you so much”.