We are pleased to offer you the position of chief toilet paper testing coordinator. We feel confident you will thrive in this demanding but rewarding role and that you will lead your team with the same efficiency and solutions-driven ethos in which you have interviewed.
Hey. Listen. About that. Yeah. I can't come in to work tomorrow. I know it's my first day, but I'm not feeling well and won't be able to perform my duties.
Dear Mr. Nonames
We are pleased to offer you the position of chief toilet paper testing coordinator. We feel confident you will thrive in this demanding but rewarding role and that you will lead your team with the same efficiency and solutions-driven ethos in which you have interviewed.
Congratulations.
Regards,
The Steem-Tron Toilet Paper co.
Hey. Listen. About that. Yeah. I can't come in to work tomorrow. I know it's my first day, but I'm not feeling well and won't be able to perform my duties.
Constipated.
🤣💩