Dick Assman
A Real Dick
Hi there!
My name is @NoNamesLeftToUse The Writer/Artist Himself and I'm here today to share my Dick Pick with you!
Since the dawn of time, Dicks have always found a way to rise to the occasion.
Some Dicks can be soft, warm and fuzzy while other Dicks can be hard, cold and prickly. It's a fact of life.
A list of actual Dicks:
- Dick Van Dyke
- Dick Smothers
- Dick Clark
- Dick Butkus
- Dick Sass
- Dick Cheney
- Andy Dick
- many, many more Dicks
Those names and many more are not nearly as important as the Dick I would like to talk about.
Today we will learn about one fascinating Dick. There is no bigger Dick than this man.
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This Dick became famous a long time ago simply because his name was Dick Assman.
David Letterman, who just so happens to be one of my heroes, was handed a newspaper clipping with Dick Assman's name on it back in 1995.
This is what happened next:
An Amazing Story
Have you ever met a more modest man in your life?
He became famous simply for being who he is on paper but I see more than that.
It never went to his head. Dick Assman could possibly set the Guinness World Record for being the most humble man who ever existed.
Truly amazing, in my eyes.
Wendy Mesley did a superb job of reporting that story.
To be able to stop herself from smacking that man who at roughly four minutes and fifty-two seconds said Mr. Dick Assman does not have talent must have taken a lot of professionalism. I may have lost my job that day if I was in her shoes.
I like to call a spade a spade but today I don't feel like calling anyone a pompous prick.
Shortly after, David Letterman attempts to explain what comedy really is. For many, that message and the meaning behind it has fallen on deaf ears for hundreds of years. Those so-called experts wearing their suits are not qualified to be in a position to comment. Common sense is not taught in school and it cannot be bought at the fancy suit shop either. Stick your nose high up enough into the air and you can only fall backwards.
At roughly seven minutes, another man begins to speak.
I think there is a dark side to it. There definitely is a dark side to it. One problem is, is it's going to stop. It's going to end, uh. And when it ends, maybe the gasman can't live with that. He wants more of it, and he's not going to have it.
Oh? Is that so?
Dick Assman. I never forgot about you. It has been over two decades since that all occurred. We now have a new invention called a blockchain. Your story, your life is now here for all to see and it will not budge, forever.
That guy didn't know what the hell he was talking about. I have your back.
Dick Assman
Gone but not forgotten.
I'm just wondering how the surname "Assman" got started.
That is a good question.
From wikipedia(linked in post):
Actually bought fuel from Dick back in the day. Straight across guy. Thanks for getting him on the blockchain.
You met Dick Assman!
... that's incredible. It was my pleasure to share this here today. People like Dick are few and far between.
No biggie, just filled my tank wasn't a star yet. I don't know, but I think there are plenty out there. We just gotta open our eyes and see people for what they are, instead of what we are told they are.
100% agree. Look at them with your own eyes. I met so many interesting people, especially on the sidewalks of Edmonton by simply allowing them to exist.
in a way I feel sorry for the dude. Clearly he is a nice guy. But think of the humiliation he went through throughout his life with a name like that. Then to be humiliated on national television. Of course the trade off is fame. I hope he got some royalties for the humiliation. So nice of him to go along with it. It makes you wonder what the hell his parents were thinking when the named him. Perhaps the fame was his reward for a lifetime of humiliation. Thanks for the intriguing post and video. Those folks in Hollywood sure have the attitude.
The name was pronounced "oss-man".
Of course people can't see past that and would prefer to ridicule. He didn't feel humiliated. He played along. His words. That is a powerful man.
That's right, Dick played along, and chose not to be insulted. It's all play in the end and what we make of it. I think, by Far Out association, of a favorite quotation:
'Do what you do more as play than as work, which does not mean that it is not serious ... That is the real tragedy of war and weapons: the tragic false seriousness.' —Thomas Merton, Letters
Heaven save us from 'tragic false seriousness! Thank you, @nonameslefttouse, for this introduction. Here's to humility, light-heartedness and keeping your wits about you as the world is losing theirs..
Cheers,
Yahia
You, nailed it. I don't need to say anything more than that.
I will encourage anyone who reads this message to visit this man's blog and have a look around. This one is going to do well here.
Cheers man!
It means a lot to hear you say that :) Thanks, man, for this warm endorsement!
You're welcome.
My husband is 40 and he still giggles when I tell him I'm watching the Dick Van Dyke Show.
That's a really interesting story. I've never heard of this before. He seemed like a really nice guy. It's a shame his name was something others could make fun of him for. It's good he saw the good side of the fame he got from Letterman teasing him about his name. He could have easily felt embarrassed but he was super nice about it all.
He understood that they weren't teasing him. Good friends pick on each other, especially guys. I think everyone else wanted a piece of that connection, reacted naturally, but those who know everything tried to take that away and make it something it wasn't. It wasn't the people laughing with him that made it ugly. It was those jerks and their opinions.. acting like they're protecting something.
I'm glad you picked up on the list of other Dicks. Those names are just as humorous as Dick Assman. Who's laughing at them? Did they have the courage Dick Assman did? I don't know.
Thanks for sharing the story, and the video. This is my first introduction to Mr. Assman.
You know, that guy at 4:52 seemed a right miserable fellow. That is my least favourite type of person-- someone who goes around explaining to other people why something is not fun, funny, or otherwise worthy from their subjective point of view. I wouldn't be tempted to smack them though... There's always going to be people who are unable to see the light in anything. I wish them all the best. They're already suffering.
Also I think it's kind of funny how when someone says "Dick Assman" really fast, it's possible to think he said "the gasman." Especially when that's his job ;)
You're welcome.
That man, I know those type all too well. That is a censor. They've tried to hold me back before too. You're right. They suffer miserably. Imagine a world without laughter.
Thanks for meeting Dick Assman today.
So everyone's name mean something in life, even if it means being the joke of the century, it is sad in the one hand but in the other hand he became famous and enjoyed the ride
My name is Damien. Growing up and even today people think I'm some kind of fucking devil. I embraced that rather than shelling up and feeling sorry for myself. When you point one finger, you have three pointing straight back at you.
There aren’t no butts about that dick.
I feel bad for this man. Canadians are already known worldwide for saying “sorry” for just about everything and anything. This man must have died when it engrained in his skull. Perhaps that was the cause of death. He reached his limit.
I don't think someone becomes a star for no reason. Not like that, out of the blue.
I would only hope so after your parents named you that. At that point you have nothing to lose!
He was born Richard. He called himself Dick.
One would think with a name like Dick Assman that I would remember this? Sadly I do not but thank you @nonameslefttouse for bringing him into my consciousness :) Having been teased greatly because of my name when I was a kid, I can truly appreciate what this man went through.
What he did was prove to the world that the teasing had nothing to do with your name or you. He turned that energy into a positive. The moment he embraced it, he became famous. His name was pronounced "oss-man". Anyone who was laughing at him and not with him tricked themselves into looking foolish.
All I did here today was hide something nice under something perceived as ugly. Maybe I wanted to see if the world has changed, yet.
I don't think the world has changed much...except perhaps that our youthful mistakes aren't trending online somewhere.
How do they get that shit to trend anyway? I can't even get people to share my stuff on Facebook... Yesterday's post should be viral by now... tick tock tick tock tick tock
I think kids get stupid shit to trend because they're little assholes and they outnumber us.
Share button happy. We're share button sad.
How the hell did you got paid so much for this post!
I don't know. What did I do? An appealing title. Motivational opening line. Interesting looking cover. The colors represent Dick's work uniform. A unique introduction. A play on words to ease the reader into realizing it's only natural to find some things funny. A curve ball. A properly sourced image with link to more information. A video presentation and commentary that follow the guidelines of fair use. Credit to the reporter who wasn't even named in the video and a link to her profile. An opinion followed by standing in defense of a kindhearted man. A lot of work went into this, I think people enjoyed the story and wanted to learn more. He might be one of the only people to ever go through what he experienced. I'm quite proud of this piece and I'm grateful for the show of support. Just going with the flow.
What the hell, I open this post expecting to finally see a monumental huge proud cock and there is some red black and white mixed together and the story of Dick Assman.
I am very very very very very disappointed of you!!!
(auhauhauahuahauhauahuahauahuahauh)
Tough crowd! Thought I'd try my hand at some comedy history reporting.