Hi all,

This week I am going to redefine and live the word comfortable.

Here I am going to walk through the following:

1. Defining the word comfortable as I currently relate to it.
2. Redefining the word based on how I would like to live it practically.
3. Giving specific practical examples of how to live the new definition of the word.

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Definition

These are the experiences, the points if you will, which form part of my current definition of the word comfortable/comfortability:

1. If something is not how I like it I can’t feel comfortable.
2. I am comfortable when I feel accepted by others
3. When I think that others are judging me I can’t be comfortable
4. I feel comfortable around others when I don’t have any body issues or judgments about my body/appearance and me
5. I can only be comfortable at the most when the space and environment I am in is clean and tidy: Not too much dust, animal fur/hair, rust, bugs, pets or other animals
6. I feel like I can’t be comfortable if I eat in a place where lots of animals live and move around because of all the fur, hair, little bugs and creatures and their own saliva they leave around the house, including tables, plates and silverware I am supposed to eat with and from
7. I feel like I can not be comfortable in an environment where I don’t know the people well, if I haven’t lived physically with them for months and know or feel they like and accept me
8. To be comfortable the way I feel in my body and how I express myself with and in the presence of others and a group - I think I have to have this feeling or knowing that others like me, find me likeable, pleasant,, expressive and have a feeling in themselves of wanting to be around me
9. I can’t be comfortable in the presence of bugs, especially big ones or ones where there are poisonous/dangerous types of around in my environment
10. I don’t see myself just being that person who is or can e and feel comfortable within themselves and their own body around other people or in an environment with wildlife or nature (bugs, animals, dust, earth, etc.) -- It’s like that type or kind of person is just not me. Me is this person who feels and gets rigid, stiff and feels constructed and afraid in their body and self when being in a group of people or a more natural environment (with bugs, animals, plants, trees, insects, dirt, dust, earth, wildlife, etc. around)
11. I feel like with comfortability and being comfortable with who i am and in my own body and in group participations - I am just too far away/off to be able to ever get to or create or have that level of comfortability in me towards who i am and in and towards my own body where I feel comfy in a group of people
12. I feel like I can’t feel comfortable in me and my body in groups of people if I don’t know my way around. For example if I don’t know how to use an appliance, such as a coffee filter machine, or how to lock and unlock a gate, or how to use the oven in someone else's home, or if I don’t know someone else's customs and ways of doing things in their home/house
13. I feel and get uncomfortable in me and my body if people in the group I live in and with give me a look or stare where I feel like they don’t like me

My Redefinition

This time I used the technique of sounding the word to see what redefinition, or points for a redefinition I could source from the sounds of the word comfortable. These are the results of playing around with the sound of the word:

• Comfort able
• Comfort is able
• Comforting myself
• Giving comfort to myself
• Come forth able
• Able to come forth
• Ability to come forth

Resulting in the following redefinition of the word comfortable for me:

The ability or action to bring myself forth in an environment and situation or moment; bringing myself forth would mean to allow my self-expression to come through. Expressing myself in words and communication as I would like to; for example when I have questions about any matter I allow that expression of ‘wanting to ask the question’ to come through and I do it, meaning I ask the question and don’t hold back due to accepted and allowed fear. In another context bringing myself through in a moment or situation or an environment would be or mean to put or place my physical body in a sitting or lying position or walk in a way or style that feels physically good for my body or one that supports my body with posture or preventing back pain and other pains and issues etc. - no matter if it looks weird/unusual or not to someone else.in another context bringing myself or my self-expression through would be or mean to smile, giggle and laugh when I’d like to and not suppress that or force that due to ideas, beliefs and expectations that I should laugh or shouldn’t laugh or smile etc. in response to something someone said or did. So, to bring myself through means to allow myself to express myself within myself and through my physical in a way that i’d like to and that supports/allows me to LIVE life, learn more about myself, about the world and about creation and self-creation and expand myself in myself, life and creation - instead of suppressing myself and my self-expression. Being comfortable thus essentially means to be true to how I’d like to express and live myself/life and self-creation, allowing myself to constantly learn, create and expand myself through questions, trying things out, being part of things (groups, conversations, skills, tasks, etc.) and not suppress myself and my self-expression due to fears, insecurities, self-consciousness or other emotions and feeling experiences. The ability, self-given permission and allowance to be myself, and have/give myself that inner safe-space I can access and ‘retreat’ to anytime anywhere to support and assist myself through points I am going through internally and externally. To let myself come through and enjoy something or carry out something without going into stress about a task or moment.

Practical Examples of Living Comfortable

I am going to live comfortable the following way (Here I am giving contextual examples of what I am facing and going through right now in my life):

Communicating and being around people I don’t know yet too well personally

Instead of accepting myself to go and stay in the tendency to suppress myself, be shy, judge and compare myself with others and their expression and comfort levels within themselves - I allow myself to equally let myself and my expression flow and if i have something to contribute to a topic then I allow myself to open my mouth and speak words, contributing to the topic. If I don’t have anything to contribute to a topic then I don’t and simply continue to participate through listening in. It’s not like participating in something and being part of a discussion means that we have to constantly speak and add our words to the conversation. No. It’s also when we simply listen in and process the information, the data of the words of the conversation going on. If we have something to contribute through speaking then we do. If not, then we continue listening. So, I see, realize and understand that holding myself back from expressing myself, through for example not speaking when I’d like to contribute to a conversation and not asking questions when I have questions I’d like to ask and learn about a topic or subject - is only going to perpetuate this pattern, this design in myself and my mind of suppressing my self and my own expression and not help me get out of that at all and become comfortable inside me and my body around other people, in groups of people.So, if I am sitting in a meeting or I simply converse with 2 or more people and there is something I’d like to contribute to the topic discussed or to another I then add my perspectives to it, or when timely I start a different topic. If I have a question I’d like to ask then I ask it, get the answer and that’s it. If I don’t have anything to contribute or any questions then I simply continue listening to the conversation and that’s it.

Around bugs and animals

Here, when I am around bugs and animals I push myself to work through fears and ideas/beliefs I have created about bugs (like having that yucky feeling towards touching bugs and certain animals, or having them crawl on you). If I am unsure about whether or not a particular bug or animal is dangerous to the human body, I do research online, or in books or I ask someone who may know it. Thus I educate myself practically and then be cautious of my surrounding and the animal or bugs behavior around me, rather than going into fear, anxiety, paranoia and panic towards them. I embrace the journey, the process of learning to work with the earth, with nature, the natural environment of life, which includes animals and bugs of all sorts and kinds and adjust/adapt to recreate/redefine my relationship to life, to the earth and its insect, animal and plant inhabitants, parts and expressions of life.I realize that I can move at a pace of the physical breath and move my body in comforting ways, enjoying myself within the surroundings/environment I am in while being cautious and aware of my surroundings. This is then practical instead of emotional. Here I’d for example when I loosen up soil for laying down additional layers of compost for plants and trees later on - calm myself down and focus on my breathing. Staying present of the moment of loosening up the soil with a fork tool and focus on feeling the tool, the air/sun/weather and the resistance/texture of using the tool to dig up the soil while simply being practically aware of my surrounding for bugs and animals, such as spiders, snakes, scorpions, etc. If I do see some bug which I don’t recognize or am not sure if it is a dangerous one to the human physical body, then I do my research, either online, or in a book or I ask someone who is or has been working in the environment longer than me if they know the answer to my question. Then accordingly I take the necessary measures and precautions, such as either removing the bug or animal myself or with assistance of others if I am not able or knowledgeable on how to do it myself. Thus, I enjoy myself and my surrounding while being practically cautious and aware. Or, if I’d like to take a walk, because that’s something that I’d really enjoy and ‘makes me comfortable’ then I allow myself to do it and not hold back due to fear, instead I enjoy the walk in my environment but stay practically cautious and aware of my surroundings as illustrated before,

When I don’t know something

If I don’t know something, such as how to use a tool, an appliance and so on then I simply support me to learn it. Either through my own online research, trying things out or asking someone who knows or may know how to use it to show and teach me. Then, I simply learn from them and develop that skill in myself as well. That way I keep on expanding practically instead of rotting in my own fears and self-judgements. So, let’s say I am new at someone’s place and I’d like to make coffee for myself, however I don’t know how to use the coffee machine in their place. Either because I never used such a coffee machine or I rarely used such a thing and don’t really remember how it went, or simply because it’s the same machine but different vendor which often also does things quite differently across different vendors. Here, instead of going into insecurities, fears, self/judgements and ending up not making the coffee - instead I do my research on the coffee machine, or I analyze and study the machine to see how it may function and I try it out, or I simply go up to someone in that household and ask them if they could show me how to use the coffee machine. That way I then learn to use it and develop that skill. I expand myself. Now I can make my own coffee the next times. I can now make that coffee that I’d enjoy to have and drink and so create and maintain being comfortable in my environment.

Dust, Fur and animals

Here, when I am in an environment with lots of animals -- or it doesn’t even need to be lots of them -- and they are all moving around, and on desks people eat from, or they walk around plates and silverware, lick plates or food, and so on - I allow myself to remind myself that this is the natural part of life, where animals, and also bugs are part of nature and life and they walk around and sometimes on things, such as plates, foods, appliances, etc. I embrace that part of life and living, accept and acknowledge the whole spectrum of life and living, that it isn’t always just clean and tidy, hair and fur free like it may be when one is living alone in a city apartment, but depending on the environment one lives in and is part of, it can be different, such as for example on a farm or property with lots of animals, bugs and plants, trees and so on. Same with dust, having lots of animals, for example creates more fur and dust - it’s natural, a natural process - so I embrace it, I embrace and acknowledge the whole spectrum of life and living, not just city and apartment life that I am used to. I allow myself to work through my ideas, beliefs and fears I have created and accepted in me that formed the relationship I have towards such things as fur, dust, saliva, etc. and rebuild, recreate and redefine that relationship to one that is based on real/life and living of different environments: One that includes the whole spectrum of life and living and is not only limited to what I am used to up to now, but instead be open to expand that with new additions based on new experiences and environments I find myself in in life. If there is, for example, a ant or fly on my food, then I remove it: Simple. If a cat or dog lick my food, I can always make something else, or get another scoop of it. Otherwise if a cat or dog is walking around my food and wanting to eat it, I can simply prevent it by directing them away or moving myself and my food somewhere else: Simple. If there’s a hair in my food or drink, I remove it when I see it, otherwise, well, I swallow it (lol): Simple. Doing these simple practical things instead of reacting emotionally and staying in such emotional states which do nothing good to myself, my body and experience of myself.

When things don’t go my way

When things don’t go my way or aren’t the way that I am used to or would like them to be, instead of reacting emotionally and staying in such emotional states - I remind myself, see, realize and understand that I can enjoy myself in this new experience I am facing, this new thing I am going through that I am not used to, that is or wasn’t part of my experience or life so far. The capacity to enjoy myself in learning this new way of doing things, or living a different way or doing things differently than I am used to - and then adapting and adjusting to such new ways of life and living is here. I am able to enjoy the learning, adjustment and adoption process of myself to the new way of living or doing things; enjoying myself in this process and journey of adopting and adjusting to the new experience in life I face at a moment or time in my process and life. So, let’s say I am in a new environment and the way people do things there and the way they live day to day is different to completely different to what I am used to. Let’s say in this new environment people live with a lot of pets, dogs and animals. Now, the dogs and cats come up to you constantly, they lick your hand, rub their wet nosed against your hands, arms, legs and face, the lick your face and want to be petted and played with and create lots of fur everywhere -- on your clothes, couches, beds, etc. Here, this whole “living with many pets” is not something I am used to. It’s the opposite of how I live and do things and experience daily in my city life. Instead of going into reaction and think that I can’t enjoy myself here and be comfortable in me and my body because of the new environment I am not used to - I instead remind me with the question: But why do I not make this process and journey of learning, adopting and adjusting to this NEW experience and way of living and doing things enjoyable? Expanding my horizon and acceptance of life and living. Discovering and creating myself and parts of me in this new environment I am part of now which has different ways of living and doing things that are part of the day to day life here. So, I embrace the difference and instead of fighting, resisting and fearing it, I allow me to expand myself, learn more about me and create more of me in and through these new experiences and ways of life and living and doing things here. Such as embracing the dogs and cats, the petting them, the playing with them, the having them sleep on your bed, etc. See what I can learn and create of me with this new experience what relationships to life (animals, nature, earth, myself, others, etc) I can redefine to be better, more practical, based on equality and what’s best for me and all life.

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You can learn more about the process of Redefining and Living Words and with that Redefining Yourself, Redefining who you are at:

• School of Ultimate Living Videos
• Redefining and Living Words Group
• Redefining Words with SOUL

Thank you!
Steem-On,
Nebi :)