Who am I? The answer may surprise you...

Who am I? I ask myself this question every morning, every night, every moment alone spent staring off into nothingness trying to decipher the point of my existence. I had always assumed we all had our purpose, even if it was just to affect one person’s life, this life was given to us for a reason. The difficult part was understanding what the reason is. I myself have not yet completed my search for “The Reason”, though I continue searching.

I could sum up my life in a few lines but that wouldn’t do it justice. I could merely skim over the surface without plunging into depths of my experiences, I could describe my life for what people perceive it to be, but that wouldn’t be enough. Life is like a web, entangled in itself, twisting this way and that, each new turn symbolic of a decision, a path we choose to take. After we’ve taken a few turns we realize all the paths we missed out, the ones we could’ve taken. We begin to notice patterns, we compare our web to others and get so caught up in looking at everyone else’s journey that we miss a path we could’ve taken. Suddenly we’re at the end of the silvery thread with nothing to hang on to. That’s not how I planned my life.

I could define my life in the roles I’ve had to play, such as a son, a brother, a friend, a student. All these conventional roles in society that will neatly place me into a category, a type. My life would be a culmination of cliché memories and life moments that would make me an ‘ordinary’ person. However, I never was, nor saw the need to be ‘ordinary’.

I didn’t realize where exactly along my path did I lose myself. Was it my transition from a child to something more? Was it only my gender that made my opinion important? Or was it me? Is it my fault I was born this way or is it society that is wrong?
All these questions seemed to flood my mind but I never seemed to find any answers. So I continued living, constantly questioning, silently rebelling against what I believed to be wrong. I’d live my life ignoring the eventual shift my life would have to take. I became so complacent in my situation that I nearly forgot that I had an alternate life that I had to live, a life ruled by someone else. By the time I had remembered, it was too late. I had already evolved into a person that wouldn’t conform to what society wanted from me.

I slowly began to break away from the people who raised me, because what they believed was best for me felt like a cage surrounding me. I understood that I was meant for greater things and the close mindedness of the people around me would not be tolerated in my life. I was my own person. I was who I wanted to be. I was a force uncontrollable by human limitations, I could stretch my soul to the far ends of the Milky Way and back to Timbuktu, and I could fit myself into the palms of a fundamentalist society and allow myself to be controlled. Or I could break free. I am an embodiment of the elements and I answer to no one. I am the universe.

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