Monday madness

in #life7 years ago

So many things have been going through my mind lately. I am sure I'm not the only one, but I will go ahead and make myself vulnerable. I am somewhat at a loss for what to do...

Early my daughter was arrested for hitting me. I'll try to make this as short as possible.
She had gone out to try to get a second job waitress in at a local German Restaurant/Pub. I knew when I had heard this it was not going to be good. Her old trouble making friend had shown up back in town and she worked there too. I cautioned her to do what she knows is right. I should have known she wouldn't listen.
She was delivered back home to me by some stranger handing me her keys on behalf of the county sherrif. image

She and her so called friend claim that the owner insisted they drink with them if they wanted to keep their jobs. Mind you, they are BOTH under age. Next thing my daughter is supposedly forced to snort cocaine and becomes completely inebriated. Her "friend" takes her car keys (unlicensed and drunk) and now decides to get them out of there.

They get to her house where her parents call the police and have my daughter checked out, but NEVER contact me, though they have my number and facebook.... 4 hours later, they have their neighbor drive her car with her in it home and deliver her keys to me with instruction to not let her drive.

image

Now, I am not stupid...there are soooo many red flags about this story!!! I don't for a second believe half of it and I am upset about so many things at this point. The drinking, the drugs, the unlicensed driving, the drunk driving, not being called and a stranger in my house just to name a few.... but I try to encourage her to sleep it off. No, not my girl. Her phone is missing and she must get it.
I would not give her the keys. I let her sit in it to chill out, but no keys. So I go back inside and next thing she comes storming in determined to get the baby and leave. She is still inebriated from whatever she took or was given hours prior. She can't stand straight, think straight or talk straight. The baby is hers, but with her mental health, I am primary care giver (not legal guardian though). I won't let her take the baby and she calls her "friend" inside to help her. She ends up able to pick up the baby and tries to leave... I grab the baby swiftly from her and sit down on the couch cradling the baby so she can't grab her.
My mom is on the phone with 911 dispatch, my 5 yr old is in the room off to the side, her friend walks in...next thing I know she strikes me across my right jaw line at the ear.... when she realized what had happened...she walked out. I locked the door and waited for police. They arrested her.
The next day I was to go to victim witness to get help ensuring the babies saftey, however the entire county was closed due to hurricane. She was lucky and they managed to get a judge in to see her and her bail was set. I couldn't see leaving her in jail worried about us during the hurricane, so we helped get down payment for her bail. All I hopes this would be a wake up call.

Because she was back in the home by the time I got to victims witness they could do nothing about ensuring the saftey of the baby. I took her to victims witness and she has since started therapy again. Shortly after she lost her job, but has managed to pay the rest if her bail. She has been working on herself and doing better with her temper. What I worry about still is the baby. She is not making wise choices foe herself. She is out all hours of day and night. She comes home smelling skunk and it is not allowed in the home. I am not risking the children in this house for that. She is self medicating to the point of forgetfulness and binge eating. She has had bad moments since being home in which she is screaming at the top of her lungs plugging her ears begging the baby to shut up and stop crying. I take her at that point. I do not leave her alone with the baby ever...

I don't know how to help her and ensure the baby is safe at the same time. I don't feel she is stable...

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I am no expert, but it clear that something inside her is aching. You are in a tight spot since through the process you need to look out for the baby, and she can get defensive. On top of that, teenage years can be difficult. For that, maybe therapy, pets, family love, and/or understanding can help. It's hard and it takes time.

I wish you the best.

Thank you.
She is 19, bipolar with borderline personality disorder. We have 2 dogs, a close family of myself, my mom and her & we've been to and through all sorts of hospitals, therapy, residential facilities to include family therapy. I have been by her side fighting for her since, well her whole life. It became evident at the onset of puberty that something deeper was going on for her. That is when therapy started. We have been down a long path of self harm, violence, substance abuse, running away and more.
My goal has always been to set her up.for success to give her what she needs to become a successful adult, no matter what success may look like for her.
She has always had trouble with accountability as well as anger. She is very verbally abusive with me as well as her boyfriend and i worry that the baby will eventually get it too as she already gets some.
I just want to get her the help she needsto sore past this season and see how bright her future could be if she would only allow it.
Thabks for letting me vent.

It must be really hard, but it sounds like you are giving it your best. Stay strong.

No problem.

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