How the Woman Who Totaled My Car Changed My Perspective on Life

If you desire my honesty - and I genuinely hope you do since I use my blog to talk about my personal life - I really wanted to name this “How the Bitch Who Totaled My Car Changed My Perspective on Life".

The event I'm going to share with you actually happened on March 19 of this year, so it's not fresh, but I've had plenty of time now to reflect on what happened.

I was feeling sick on the evening of March 19 and I didn't want to cook dinner. I left my family at home and decided to make a quick run to Taco Bell.

As I was at a complete stop in the left turning lane at a traffic light, I could clearly observe that there are no vehicles across from me at the light. My arrow turned green, giving me the “okay” to turn left, which I proceeded to do seeing as how there was nobody else at the light and I did, after all, have the right of way.

The next thing I knew I saw headlights directly outside of my front passenger window before I was hit and my car spun in a circle.

I looked up at the light as the woman hit me and my green arrow was only just turning yellow, meaning she could not have possibly had a green light for the right turning lane she had just turned from.

There were two teenage boys who happened to be walking down the road who pulled me from my vehicle. They clearly told me that they watched the woman run the light and hit me.

Being 20 years old at the time and inexperienced with this type of thing, I didn't think to get the information of the boys who pulled me from my car.

The next thing I knew, the witnesses were gone and the officer on the scene was telling me that I was lying about having a green arrow and that the other woman had the right of way.

When I mentioned the witnesses, he said I had no proof and that those same witnesses told him that I ran the light and not the other way around.

I of course knew the officer was lying, because I knew I had a green arrow and the boys who pulled me from my vehicle were visibly mad at the other woman for crashing into me.

The other woman played the victim and said I flew out of nowhere and hit her while she had a green light.

(If you are wondering, yes, I did stop and record the traffic lights to see what her side would have shown while I had a green arrow. I learned that she had a yellow flashing arrow while I had a solid green arrow - yellow flashing must yield to green solid.)

(I also have my suspicions as to why the officer sided with the other woman, but to avoid sounding ignorant I'm going to keep those assumptions to myself.)

Anyway, this went down as my fault, and she got a pretty new car for free out of it.

I, on the other hand, lost one of the only things I ever owned and had to buy another car out of pocket.

She totaled MY car. SHE got a free vehicle out of it. MY insurance premiums skyrocketed. I can't apply for jobs that require driving.

How can a woman like that sleep at night?

Initially, I was furious. I still am, but there's nothing I can do about the fury I feel when I think about her blatant lie to cover her own ass.

Instead, I'm astounded as I realize that that's the kind of person you have to be to get ahead in life.

The reason a woman like that can sleep at night is because she does what she has to do to get things handled.

Being kind, soft, and thoughtful is all fine and good, but you don't get anywhere by being the nice guy.

Trust me, I've tried that approach all my life.

I’m always kind to others when I shouldn’t be. I always take the shitty end of the stick simply because I don’t want anyone else to settle for less than what they want. I always keep my own concerns a secret because I don’t want other people to worry about what I have to say.

I always tell the truth, even when I know I’ve done something wrong and I know there will be consequences.

And even despite telling the truth - even when you are not in the wrong - it does not matter.

What matters is that you say whatever you have to say to cover yourself, no matter who you hurt in the process.

I understand that might seem drastic or negative, but it’s the truth. Who gets ahead in life? The people who do what they have to do to get shit done… not the people who spend everyday of their life trying to do right by others.

Why is our world like this? Why is it true that “nice guys finish last”?

How come being raised to care for others continuously comes back to bite me in the ass?

I feel I'm facing the harsh reality that I'm going to have to make some unwanted changes in my life. I have a toddler to raise; I can't have her going without because her mother doesn't know how to manipulate people to her advantage.

I'm not saying I'm going to be a terrible person. In fact, I have anxiety just considering making the changes I'm thinking about. I'm just saying it's been proven time and time again that doing the right thing all your life doesn't get you anywhere. And I'm tired of being behind.