It's All About Me - psychologytoday.com
I have included the following extract from psychologytoday.com to provide you with a deeper understanding of the narcissist. You may wonder why the narcissist has no interest in true intimacy with you and why they would prefer to abuse/manipulate you? Why would they choose to be cold and dis-associative rather than sharing something special with you? The following extract should help to answer those questions:
"Derogative objectification also serves the purpose of lessening their vulnerability by reducing any power that, alternatively, others might have over them. (Not to mention its deep-rooted connection to their lack of empathy.) Having learned earlier not to trust anyone - the outcome of the emotional pain inflicted on them by insufficiently caring, non-approving parents - they refuse to accept the risks associated with allowing another to get really close to them.
So if they're to feel safe in the context of an intimate relationship, they need to keep their partner at a distance. The cost of avoiding any emotional hazards by acting in this self-protective way is that true intimacy with another remains forever beyond their reach. The grave misfortune in their decision to safeguard their (actually false) self should by now be obvious; by refusing (or being unable) to open up their heart to others, they prevent themselves from ever getting what - deep down and totally out of their awareness - they most desire and desperately need."