Being a “sort of” alien in China. Vol. 2

monstrousmonkey (35)in #life • 8 years ago (edited)

Hello fellow Steemers!
In a previous post of mine I talked about racial issues in China and how me looking slightly Asian causes problems. That said post was quite serious, so in this post I would like to say a few stories that are a bit more humorous. I would first like to say that I am in no way demeaning the people of Xinjiang, this is just some experiences I have had looking like one of them.

One time, after a lovely night out with my mates I decided I would walk home rather than take a taxi. It was a cool spring evening, I had my music so I could take a pleasant stroll. The road from the bar back home, though well lit, did have its shadowy parts. And like Homer coming out of the bushes in an episode of the Simpsons, where Homer is obsessed with Ned Flanders, a Xinjiang guy came out of the shadows and approached me. Now, most people, due to how they are perceived, would have run a mile away from this gentleman, but I am more compassionate than that and gave him my time. My lip reading skills were failing me, so I took my headphones off to see what he was saying. We conversed in Chinese, but I shall translate for you:

Him: (unknown)
I took my headphones off to see what he is saying.
Me: Hello
Him: As-salāmu ʿalaykum
(Now, I have quite a few Muslim friends back in England, so I responded accordingly)
Me: waʿalaykumu as-salām.
(Now this might have been a mistake, because he took this for me being one of his people)
Him: daddddadasasafhdjsiajaj
(NOT A CLUE what he said next because he used the language of his people)
Me: Ah! Sorry I don't understand.
Him: oh...
(His confused lost face clearly showed his disappointment).

Finding out that his quest for a fellow man at 2 in the morning had failed. He proceeded to back off and returned to the shadowy corner from whence he came, again much like Homer returning to his bushes. Amused by the whole situation I plodded back home.

Another time where my looks have cause an amusing situation was when I was on a road trip with a mate in China. This friend is adamant that I look and sound (when I speak Chinese) like a Xinjiang guy. We were driving around Ningxia province, which is a bordering province of Xinjiang. So, my friend and I were in a night market looking for some late night tasty treats when we just so happened to come across a seller of honeydew melons and this gentleman just so happened to be of the Xinjiang kind. While in the market my friend noticed that this guy had wondered off leaving his melons all alone. My friend said to me “go over there and see if you can sell some melons.” To which I replied “impossible, no one is going to believe that I am selling those, besides I really don’t look like a Xinjiang guy.” After much goading I went over to see if anyone would believe that I was actually a local. Not two seconds later an old Chinese lady came up to me and asked “how much for your melons?” I was speechless, I conceded, I guess I do look like a Xinjiang guy. I quickly apologised to the lady and said that it wasn’t my stall, and not long after the actual owner of the stand came back. He didn’t look happy at the sight of my friend rolling on the floor laughing…