RE: Why I'm angry: A story of how I became what I am today.
When my bother was a toddler I double bounced him on a trampoline sending him flying head first off the edge of it. I grabbed his leg and jerked him back resulting in a broken leg for him.
When my sister and I were young we were trying to catch a lizard that fled under a concrete block. I lifted said block and my sister some how got her foot under it and I was unable to hold it up any longer resulting in 3 broken toes.
A family friend's child was watching us play back yard baseball when I was also younger and somehow managed to position himself behind me just as I was swinging a wooden bat. It made contact with his nose and broke it.
I in no way intended for these events to happen but they did. Sometimes bad shit and bad luck follow people. Plus children are like totally fragile.
I should also add that I am sorry you were made fun of as a child. People can be real ass-hats.
It's alright. The more I think about it, the more I come to realize how we were probably sharing different sides of the same feeling. School is a place that can bring out the worst in people. The pressure to do well, the nature of the cliques and popularity, the desire to fit in, it all weighs heavily on kids who aren't yet emotionally developed enough to make good decisions.
I don't hate those kids anymore, even though I don't really regret my actions at the time either. But I realize that those actions and events have left me changed. I realize it, but it's hard to change.
It takes more energy to hate than to forgive. It is hard to change. I also struggle with anger issues and it takes discipline for me to not lash out. I just know that I want to be a good, kind, and compassionate person so I devote myself to inhabiting those qualities. Based on your response you seem to be a level headed individual capable of accepting responsibility for your actions.