The Shape Of The Thing

Woof woof!

A small robotic dog stopped its whirring, clanking walk to stop and metallically bark at me before starting it's slow lurching walk onward to whatever urgent tasks robot dogs have to do.

Uuurgh.

I shook my head and rolled my eyes back in my head as if I were about to faint from cynicism.

Cool, huh!

A bespectacled man in his late fifties dressed like a teenager grinned at me as he followed the robotic dog on its travels.

I was in the office. It was early on a Tuesday morning. Seeing a grown man chase a robot dog was not high on my list of cool things.

You heading out to snatch children with that thing?

I grumped at Marty McFly.

What!? No!! This is a proof of concept, man. The dog is actually driven by randomised micro-tasks. It might be useful in determining future ICT strategies?

Marty McFly grimaced as he said this as if even he could barely believe the unadulterated shit that was pouring out of his mouth.

Future ICT strategies? Are you for real?

I found myself barking at Marty McFly as if I were a dog, albeit one with a silky penis.

Listen. We are heading into a period of immense transition as we attempt to migrate from our current monolithic systems to a more dynamic micro-service based architecture. It's important that we surface all of our options.

Marty McFly said in a serious tone utterly at odds with his skinny jeans that exposed far too much fifty year old ankle.

I raised an eyebrow so dramatically that had we been underwater there would be a tsunami of epic proportions rolling out in all directions.

Anyway. It's stuff like this that will help us discern the shape of the thing.

Marty McFly tilted his head at me as if hoping to convey a sense of deep wisdoms but instead looking like a slightly manic pigeon with an eye on a discarded pizza slice.

Help you discern the... shape... of the thing!?

I said, disbelief colouring my words brown.

Yes.

Marty McFly scowled at me as if I had just walloped his robotic dog on the nose with a rolled up newspaper for peeing on the carpet.

A robot dog?

I asked just to be sure that I hadn't died on the train and was now doing penance in hell.

Yes.

Stated Marty McFly.

I shook my head sadly.

I give up.