The Pit
You going on the Christmas night out, BoomDawg?
A voice roared from beside my desk.
I looked up from the incredibly complex yet vital to our company's existence, Excel report I was working on.
Who dared beard me in my den with a roar so loud? Had a giant approached me unawares? My gaze swept the room, yet there was no one to be seen.
Then I saw it. The source of the sound.
It was Shit-the-bed. a tiny little Project Manager, who had stopped at my desk brandishing a canvas bag and a notepad.
Well, it's funny you should...
I began to reply but Shit-the-bed cut me off with an authoritative chopping of his hand.
Oh for fuck sake, you're not going to dodge it by pulling the 'I've got young kids' card again are you? Man up for fuck sake!
He barked, shaking his head at my lack of mannity.
I gazed at him fondly. He was so tiny. I was half tempted to pick him up and put him in my shirt pocket.
Well, no. I wasn't going to pull the 'I'm a parent' card. What I was going to say was...
I attempted to answer.
Fucking hell man, don't be such a pussy. Get that wife of yours tell't!?
He shook his head but harder this time in utter disgust at my furry felinity.
If you would let me finish, I...
I started but once again the eeny-weeny Shit-the-bed leapt in.
I've got two young kids. I'm fucking going. You scared to let your hair down? Fuck sake man, that's gay.
I did a double take. Shit-the-bed had two kids? How the hell had someone so small managed such a task without falling into his wife's vagina and being lost forever?
In my head, I pictured him stepping up to his wife's lady-garden like Luke in Return of the Jedi stepping up to the Sarlaac pit.
I couldn't help but giggle.
Shit-the-bed reared back and fixed me with a hard stare.
What's so funny?!
He demanded.
You know the Sarlaac pit in Return of the Jedi? I was just sort of imagining that that scene was like you getting your wife pregnant.
I chortled happily.
Shit-the-bed turned several shades of purple in quick succession, his eyes bulging like tiny little quails eggs.
You... You're a prick.
He snapped.
I leaned back in my chair.
That's me.
I said happily, leaning back in my chair.
Shit-the-bed made a snarly-warly noise and stomped off.
Oh, I am going by the way. You can buy me a drink!
I yelled at his retreating back.
Ahhh, it's shaping up to be a fun night!
"Always keep going", said Shit-the-bed and he shait all over the bed.
My grandad his version of "Never give up, never give in." The Shit-the-bed name in your story reminded me of his saying.
It is originally in Oaldamster patter°, translating it did lose some of the roughness of the original.
[° "Aal deurzettn, zee Schiet-op-berre en hoi scheet heul berre onder."]
As a child I thought it was a common saying around the region where I grew up. Never understood why I got weird shocked looks when mentioned it.
He was a great story teller and inventor of new sayings that made sense. 😄
Anyway, a bit of a side-track... Wonder how your 'Shit-the-bed' got his nickname.
Hehe, I do live a good story teller and creator of new sayings. My dad way like that, I looked to think he passed it on!
Shit-the-bed was quite open years ago about having a really bad gastrointestinal thing and said at one point he farted and followed through, shitting the bed. He was telling us this as an amusing story but I don't think he ever expected the nickname to be borne out of it :0)
It is a valuable thing to pass story telling on from one generation through to the next.
My grandfather inspired me to tell stories to my daughter, when she was at the free imagination age. Great memories. :-)
And many have been at that point where they thought one doubtful warm feeling fart, in advance, could do no harm. Shortly after letting go being followed by the softly mumbled words: "Aaw noooo, shit..."
But never to speak of it again after the cleansing in shame was done. He totally deserves the name.
Someone just wanted to fight? XD Are he and his wifey still together with an attitude like that? o_O
Sounds like the work Christmas do is going to be entertaining. There will be a post right? XP
He is a bit narky, he's always had an issue with me not going out on impromptu nights out because I say I need a bit of notice what with the kids and all. I suspect he thinks I am a total woos!
Asked lol. I always think I will post the day after but I am usually too gubbed!
That picture made me laugh - shame poor man. O a party is coming up?
The Christmas works do!!! It's in two weeks!! Much excitement, only because of the free drinks mostly, lol!!
upvoted and resteemed
Ta muchly!
What is the reason of your downvote on my post?
https://steemit.com/sportstalk/@syedumair/adelaide-will-host-it-s-4th-day-night-test-tomorrow
Posted using Partiko Android
The bid bots. If you use them for promotion you shouldn't make a profit from it.
I did use them for promotion before but not now. The whole purpose of using them was for profit and I don't think there is anything wrong in making a little profit especially when you get no attention at all.
Even if I did do something wrong by using them for profit, you could have just commented on my post with a nice little warning. Sounds like a reasonable way to tackle issue, isn't it?
But you would still have made the profit.
The reason I didn't comment is that it is fairly well known that this is happening. You must have heard of #newsteem?
!BEER
for you
View or trade
BEER.Hey @meesterboom, here is a little bit of
BEERfrom @eii for you. Enjoy it!The names you come up with for your co-workers are so honorable sir meesterboom! lol.
Honourable or slightly contemptuous. Hehe!!
Yes, just slightly contemptuous! lol..highly creative too.
To listen to the audio version of this article click on the play image.
Brought to you by @tts. If you find it useful please consider upvoting this reply.