Squeakers
In Scotland, we have been beset by heavy snow and freezing weather over the last few days. On Wednesday I got sent home early from work and it has been closed ever since because no-one can travel in this madness.
As a result, I have been imprisoned in my house by the snow ever since. It has not just been my little family of four though, oh no. One of the Good Lady's friends (The Janice) had popped over from Edinburgh to stay for the night on Tuesday and has been incarcerated with us ever since.
The Janice, has a child the same age as the little boom and her and the good lady have been having a whale of a time, breastfeeding, chatting about childbirth, breastfeeding some more and talking about vaginal tears.
I have been going slightly demented with the non-stop birth stories and the tsunami of breast hormones washing around the house and have taken to pacing back and forth shaking my head and making low grunting noises.
The media has been full of horror stories of people fighting in the aisles of the few supermarkets that have opened for the last loaves of bread. This at least has made me feel quite smug because I make my own and we have been feasting on the damned stuff.
It was day three of being snowbound and this morning I went to make coffee for us all.
The fridge door swung open with an eerie creak.
I stared in utter horror at what lay inside...
Or rather, what didn't.
We were out of milk.
Despite the fact that I have supplies of almost every other thing the one thing I don't have lying about is a bloody cow...
But wait?
I stomped into the living room. Before me sat two mothers with the jubblies out feeding the little babbens.
There is no milk.
I stated in a tone of dark foreboding.
Everyone looked at me in stark disbelief.
No...Milk?
Trembled the good lady.
Not a flipping drop. We are goosed.
The silence lay heavily as we all stared at each other, willing some kind of solution to pop into existence. The quiet was broken by one of the babies letting out an anguished squall.
It was The Janice's child, she shushed the little girl by sticking a boob back in her mouth.
I pulled my hand out from behind my back. In it was the electric breast pump. I looked at the good lady and then at The Janice.
My lips twitched up in a sinister smile.
Time to put them squeakers to some proper use ladies.
Hahahah Mr Boomy my dear gentleman. This shows that an advantage of staying home can turn to another work at home (out of milk on a cold winter day....damn) even though it is fun to spend time with little boomy, I still think that a gentkeman club might be more fun? at least some good brany plus nice ladies on cold winter night will be good. Its also very cold in Germany and here I am chilling with a cold beer...damn, a gentleman club with you will be more fun hahahaha. Today, I discussed about Reward Pool Rape: Downside of Steem Blockchain innovate nature in my post-I would like you to check it out in order to get your insight to the issue . I wish you a blessed weekend.
The club is always a much more prefereable idea!
I shall be along presently to see! :O)
Amen to that....thanks and enjoy your night.
Hahahah , you always turn every situation into a cool situation except on Thursday when you put on your gentleman hat (chills awww). Milk is important for little boomy, thanks for another great post, upped and following you in order to read more...daily.
And on a saturday I put on my beer hat lol!
Hahahaha same here buddy, Cheers
You always make that combination of the title, writing and pictures that makes it funnier altogether.
Damn, I'm completely goosed :d
Hehe, cheers!
Goosed is a great term isnt it!
I take mine black... thank goodness!
It's a shame for the Weetabix though... toast then? :D
Toast all the way with my fine bread!
Yeah, the idea of putting that muck in my coffee gives me the boak :OD
Vegemite or marmite?
Hahaha, a loaded question. Obviously marmite. With its higher quality processed yeast extract ;O)
Lol. At least you didn't say Bovril -- marmite's non-vegetarian cousin!
Ah, sweet bovril! I never really understood that one. My mum and dad used to drink it, eeugh
British people are weird!
I have to agree
Always a fun story, every detail shows a fun of normal life. Original stories have their price and it is seen in your earnings.
People like to have fun, a lot of them, and with your posts we see life with other eyes. Positive energy is launched by the world, thank you for that.
And thank you for a lovely comment!
Thank you for your support, knowledge and positive energy. When you have more time, I want you to be a lecturer, at least once a week for people who want to learn how to be original and positive on Steemit. Thank you very much for yesterday.
You are very welcome. I Dare say I could fit some time on once a week. :0)
LOL. I bet that went over like a pregnant high jumper! Breast milk in coffee? You really want to ruin a good cup of java? Being housebound during storms is dreadful torture. Good for one day only. We used to get housebound for a week at a time...After day three it is time to contemplate digging yourself out...
Hehe, yeah it would be awful. I was reading the ladies out of housebound cabbin fever!!
It does get a bit monotonous. I will be digging to freedom tomorrow!!
Oh my freaking god, hahahaa, mmmm, what a delightful way to cream up your coffee and cereal, straight from mama's mammaries, get those squeakers going! LOL
Howie says Jubblies, that's one of his favorite words...along with Titanias.
That's crazy though, three days! The other Scott just wrote me, he was trapped away from home like Janice, no way to steem- the horror!
It was really bad! I dont think we have had it that bad in years. At this time of year as well. Its fucking spring!
I felt bad for The Janice, stuck here away from home for so long. we made it as nice as we could. I thin k we all enjoyed it actually!
I love different names for norks or bingbongs!
Ugh, I know, we're not as bad off as you it sounds like, but we got dumped on through the night and it's still going, has to be at least eight inches by now. I can't remember the last time Spring actually started in March here, other than teaser days here and there.
Yeah that had to be tough on The Janice, I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Haha, ohh norks. bingbongs. Now I'm hearing a song in my head...Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow, everybody needs a bosom. lol
Ahhaha, now I have the same song in my head!
We are lucky in that it is clearing up but it will still take days for things to get back to normal!
The time off work has been nice right enough :O)
Nooooo! I knew it must be pretty bad up there as I had heard the pubs were closing early in Glasgow! xD But is it really ever that bad that you have to resort to such horrors? :O
Haha, oh that's a good one!! Indeed they did though!
And no, things are never that bad! :0)
Hello honey, I'm sorry that you're locked up because of the snow, although that will give you some family time.
but what is unacceptable is to run out of milk. Oh what happened?
can not be!
what are we going to do?
resort to what you have at home ?.
That would be the solution for the coffee?
only that solution does not like much to the big people does not have good flavor. I do not understand how a baby likes that milk, it has a strange taste.
Then the taste of caffé would be spoiled, and the great lady and Mrs. Jeanice would have their nipples hurt.
Hehe, yes. It would be a strange thing to sick that in a coffee. I had take it black until today!!
I guess you are available to have good family time since you are trapped at home by snow. It is sound funny when you took out the electric breast pump as I wasn't expecting this. No cow at home but there is still milk source. Not one but two...
Double source!
Yeah, there has been plenty of family time which is good