ORCASM
I strode into the lounge and halted, cocking my hips at the Good Lady as if they were a pair of maracas.
Sup, chicken-pie!
I brayed like a Donkey called Mary who had just laid an egg in a manger.
The Good Lady looked up from her Kindle which she had happily been reading. Her brow creased suspiciously at my dashing demeanour.
You look happy?
She grunted.
HA! Happy. Oh yeah, baby girl. Tell me, do I look like a Killa?
The Good Lady did a double-take as if I were wearing one of her shawls and had announced my name was now Tammy.
A bloody what?
She stuttered out.
A killa baby! Look. Look at these?
I bared my teeth with a dramatic rhhahhrrrrrr.
Are they red? My teeth red?
I made bitey motions at the air around me.
Oh poor Daddy-Bear. You really have gone a bit mental? It must be all the stress?
The Good Lady made a Zuckerberg at the Senate face.
I stopped biting at the air for a moment and did some more hip-thrusts as if having at that sexy Ghost woman in the first Ghostbusters movie.
Mental? Me? Maybe... Maybe I am just gonna come over there and eat all your little fishies, hmm?
I made swimmy finny with my arms and moved toward her.
She held a stern hand out.
What the hell?! You really have lost it.
She said sharply.
I stopped, my expression taking on a little hurt as if she had popped my lucky balloon.
No, lass. I haven't really lost it. I'm being an Orca. I am an Orca now. I powered up a bit of steem and BOOM. Sweet Orcasm for me.
I stopped as the Good Lady's eyes rolled about in her head like magic eight balls.
Oh God, not that bloody Steemit again? You said you were taking a break. What does Orca even mean!?!
She shook her head in despair.
It means I have 50,000 Steem Power. It's like, pure amazing?!
I said trying to maintain my previous good cheer.
The Good Lady turned back to her Kindle with a sad clucking noise.
I huffed off into the kitchen to get a coffee. I'd worked bloody hard to become an Orca. Hmmph. Maybe I would go down the local park, jump in the pond and eat the bloody fishies for real.
That would show her.
Congratulations @meesterboom!
You raised your level and are now an Orca!
Do not miss the last post from @steemitboard:
Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness to get one more award and increased upvotes!
Boom!!
And a badge to prove it, skills!
Head to power up am extra 500 for the badge!!! Dammit, lol
This is really awesome @meesterboom!
BTW, why not support us back and vote for our witness?
You will get one more badge and more powerful upvotes from us on your posts with our next notifications!
Lol, well why not. I do have some to spare and I like the badges!
Me busy baking your badge... it will come soon. Thank you for your support! 🙏
Oh that's freakin' awesome, congrats!. You could skinny on up to the attic to celebrate by playing a tune on your pipe orcan, or maybe the good lady could join in on her pan flute??
She could! I could! In all likellihood it will be the first option. Still, I bet it will be a cracking tune!! :OD
Living the dream right there.
Riding it like it's 1985!
It's going to be hard to beat that line!!!
In related news ...
Whales have the largest penis in the world - This is an Orca
That... that is just truly insane! Its like that pipe that goes between two planes when they refuel in mid-air!
It is disturbingly accurate too, I feel I have finally come to an understanding of my own undercarriage. This is an incredible day!
Do you think that activity (whatever it is) was in the persons's job description?
I think not, I think they were being extracurricular... Lol
Grats. You'd best get Orcanised or you'll waste your VP 😂
I am gettting an Orca jacket made, just trying to source the skin!
Right. That's it, I'm calling the SSPCA
Cool, tell them I am a 44 chest and the sooner the better please?
Call it yourself
03000 999 999
I did but the woman who answered wasn't at all sexy so I hung up. It just goes to show doesn't it?
I imagine it being a Grandma, so no surprises there! Sorry for your disappointment.
Hey, Grammas can be sexy!
gulp
Also, how dare you put such disgusting language in my feed! 😁
HEhe its a cracker! I am surprised no-one used it first!
👍
Fat Free Upvote
congrats. Long time between drinks now :)
Are you getting the next drinks in?
slowly buying with all my ex drinks money. :)
I’ll take that as yes! 😁😎
Hehe, cheers man. Yeah, the next one is a bit far!
Hell yeah!!! Kick ass!!! This is awesome!
Posted using Partiko iOS
Hehe, it was so funny, your reply came in just as I was readying to post!
That’s pretty nutty. See...connected already!!! Lol
Posted using Partiko iOS
Hahahah, something in the ether!
Congrats on your orcasm. Let's hope it doesn't fizzle out and you should have converted your steem to BTC instead.
Also you did have a break. No posts for TWO WHOLE DAYS!
I know, how much did that slow me down!! I can hardly believe it. I was hanstrung by my absence!
BTCSteem FTW!Congratulations. That is awesome. No need to jump in the pond. Lol
then the little fishies are safe... for now!!
Congratulations.
That is awesome. No need to
Jump in the pond. Lol
- bethvalverde
I'm a bot. I detect haiku.
Good job! Seeing old Steem folks rise in ranks is always a good sight. Land ahoy!
Hehe, cheers!! It is, feels like a proper achievement!