Dunce
Ultimately, you have to choose whether to be on the dancefloor or the balcony...
Halcón Rey finished his sentence and looked down at his small audience from the ridiculously raised podium he was on.
Any questions?
He said with that confident air that the rich have, that there will be no questions.
I have a question.
I said from my seat way below the cloudy mountain-top from which Halcón Rey stood.
The room fell silent. We were at a productivity booster workshop. Again.
This one was being hosted by three of the company top-guns.
One of them, Halcón Rey, had just finished a big impassioned speech about dancers on a dance floor and people watching from the balcony and other mad shit.
He was getting so into it I half expected to see him sport a chubby as he stepped away from the lectern.
I recognised one of the other top gun's, Queso Grande. The last was a stranger, he looked like one of the long dead.
Halcón Rey peered down irritably from the lectern. I shuffled slightly, as if sitting on pine cones.
Go on?
Said Halcón Rey.
Well, the thing is, we have all been sent on an awful lot of productivity and morale-boosting workshops recently. In fact, they happen almost weekly and everybody has been complaining that, if anything, they take us away from being able to do any real work.
I thought I heard some gasps from behind me.
Halcón Rey Looked at the long dead behind him and then, seemingly bewildered, he looked back out at the crowd below.
It's about working smarter? It's about being... lean.
He slowly stated, he sounded unsure, as if he had done a big shit but the toilet bowl was empty.
I made to answer but someone else interrupted and the moment was gone.
What followed was a queue of chuff- munchers and career types praising the workshops and gushing like broken drains over what we had been told.
Quite suddenly, it was lunchtime. I happily filed out with the others. Once we were outside I fully expected my fellow workers to hoist me up on their shoulders for being a hero and telling the management exactly what we were all thinking.
One of my colleagues, BinJuice approached. I readied myself to receive his adulation. I hoped the congratulatory back slaps didn't hurt too much. Perhaps he would offer to buy me many beers in the pub later? I had better get on to the good lady and tell her I might be a little late tonight.
Boomdawg. You are a dick, shut up and don't tell them that shit. Nod your head and do as your told. It's better for all of us. Fuck sake.
BinJuice stomped away again.
Ah, not quite the being carried around the room on the shoulders of my brothers in arms I was expecting.
Oh well, at least it's Friday!
Hm. Your collegues are remarkably similar to the sycophants commenting on the Trending Page.
Haha. You have a very good point there. Those commenters really get to me. They are so mindless, like a swarm.
You would almost think they all wear identical gray suits.
It's a funny thing but yes, you would!
You should realize, most of your comrades are idiots who don't actually care about getting the work done, they just want to get paid. Hence, they appreciate the workshops as a break from the monotony of actually working, and see it as a chance to catch a few z's.
But yes, if you're talking about actual productivity, for people who don't want to kill time, you've got the right idea - they're just wasting your time. In terms of this, I suppose I should quote ... somebody, I've quite forgotten who, who ever so famously said - "You're not killing time - you're killing yourself slowly." Well put, random person whose name I've forgotten, well put.
Lol, yes indeed. I quite like the odd jolly away from my desk but these things are mad exhausting. Group activities and all this wild double think nonsense. I wanna do my job! Ah well, it's the weekend
Dear employee, your input is of greatest value to me as long as it supports my thesis.
Bang on the money!!
Poor old BinJuice, he must have to wash that brown nose of his often! Yup, be a sheeple, stay safe, or be a shit disturber, at least you can sleep at night if you are!
There seems to be a lot of it about. Everyone is moaning yet today everyone was cheering for it!
Seems like your co-workers are lemmings, willing to follow the drivel as long as they are being paid to do nothing. I used to hate these kinds of meetings as they were such a waste of time. When these do end, things will be right back to normal except the bosses will have lighter wallets...and the huge smiles on the faces of the presenters.
Hehe, yeah, I was googling the kinda
of money that these kind of coffees and presenters often charges and it's mahoosive!!!
Perhaps you should try offering your own service - just inform them that you have a big following on social media discussing these sorts of issues, and point them away from all the posts which insult them, and the Saturday beer reviews , and the ones which make you look bad... and the Thursdays with Uncle Boom...
Ok, never mind, I think I just disqualified your entire blog. Oops.
Yep, I am really glad that steemit hasn't sent idly mainstream so far for that reason! My made up names would only let me partly away with it! Although I have on occasion mixed up the sexes of the people too
Haha! I've always been the squeaky wheel wherever I go, I guess that's why I was exiled from the corporate world. I learned that people more often than not don't like to be criticized by people they feel are beneath them. Damn pedestals.
You know what happens to those in exile though. You've seen the movies, read the books...
They come back wiser and stronger and more determined than ever to kick the worlds ass!!
Yee haw!!
Like Simba! Like Thor! Like the Count of Monte Cristo!
You will be as one!
Like all of those marvelous things!!!
Like all of those marvelous things!!!
Like Simba! Like Thor! Like the Count of Monte Cristo!
LOL hahaha, I had to endure so many of these Friday afternoon "workshops" or "RaRa" sessions when I was a Recruiter. And you are sooooo right. How about not do these lame meetings and let me work, or better yet, go home early, I mean it is Friday. LOL Great post, very relatable! :)
Going home early would have been far nicer!
LOL I bet. haha
Typical when your co-workers complain about the boss and when they have the opportunity to talk just shut up and lick the balls lol
Yeah, everyone complains then smiles when the bosses walk by!
Those workshops are balls. The more you can out of the better I say.
They are, utter utter balls. I have learned nothing!
What the hell man, Binjuice? You had spoken out against high frequencies of
the workshops to one of the top guns and Binjuice did not appreciate your concern. He really deserved the nickname, "Binjuice", I suppose. Upvoted!
I think today he really did deserve the name!