So, it’s been a long time since I was writing a diary.

Well, this is not really a diary – it’s more of prompt to write, from a friend, who thinks I have stories to tell. I might do, I kinda always did – rarely writing them in English. Rarely saying things out loud. Rarely being me. ‘Cause being me is apparently scary - to most people. Including boyfriends, friends or even family sometimes.

But, yes – this is me. The one with the many stories. The Drama Queen. The passionate busy bee. The true and the honest. The deep and the un-fake. The reason and the madness – all in one place, all in one face.

I don’t wanna talk about death. I’m done talking about death. I mean what’s the point? What’s done is done – who’s gone is gone. Let’s talk about life, about dreams, about expectations – not about the musts or the shoulds. Shoulda, coulda, woulda we all had enough in life. Let’s try to be positive, for once – to see the light, but also the truth. Even if it’s bad, we should still see it and embrace it. Because in the end, why waste time? Time is money, time is precious, time is life. If there’s something ugly you need to confront it – just do it. Now. Why wait? When you’re old you can’t fight it anymore…do you really wanna be trapped in a bad truth?

‘Say something nice’.

My partner often says that to me. I always wonder what he means. Like ‘why would I say something not nice?’ But then again, we do. Most times we do. We never focus on the good sides. We whine. We forget the nice stuff – we forget being nice. Because life – responsibilities, problems, issues, all kinds of matters. But still, there should always be a little ray of light, a small white butterfly, otherwise we’ll all get crazy.

Do you like crazy?

Can you deal with crazy? I know I can. ‘Cause it’s in me – want it or not it is. And I’m telling you it’s hard, it’s tough, it’s something you can’t manage. So what do you do? ‘Say something nice’? No. Dream. Hope. Try. Repeat. And if it doesn’t work, dream more, hope more, try more, repeat until you’re out of breath. Bad things happen to good people, but good things happen to good people too. Mostly good – to the good. And bad, to the bad. Karma is give and take: You give good, you take good. So, don’t just ‘say something nice’, ‘DO something nice’. For your partner, your family, your friends…but mostly FOR YOU – because at some point you move on from your family you were born in and you create your own. You might change partners or friends. But you… you only have ONE of you. And one freaking life to live.

I personally don’t like myself that much. I wonder how other people do. I wouldn’t hang out with me I think. I would do me, ‘cause I’m kinda hot haha, but I guess I would stop there. But then there are people around me telling me I’m cool, fun, and bla bla bla. But does it really matter what other people say to us or about us or deep down our very own opinion counts the most after all? Once my boyfriend said ‘if you don’t like you, how do you expect other people to like you?’ He had a

point. But then again I don’t understand why my mind should befriend this body that was ‘forced’ to be born together. My logic and my mental expansion go much further than that. I want to have the right of choice. I am on this planet to choose and be chosen – but myself ? Well, I didn’t choose her now, did I?

I didn’t choose to be born on a Saturday – which in Greece is said that you can curse people if you do. I didn’t choose to be Greek and yet be a natural redhead. Oh my God what did I have to put up with in school. I didn’t choose to be left handed – and hurt myself using objects exclusively made for right handers. I didn’t choose to lose people, to fall in love with people, to change. But this…I can choose: The future. My future. My son’s future – if I even get one. It’s always too late but never really is. There’s always time – for another step, for another change, for another view.

The World hasn’t ended yet.

There’s still time. Just take the God damn step. And be happy.

And as I always say... Don't forget to smile!

Yours

MeanMommy

If not mentioned otherwise, all pictures on my posts are mine :)