The mind of a betrayed

Every once a week it seems I dream or rather have nightmares of people that I used to worked with.

It starts relatively normal like eating lunch, having a picnic, going swimming and then someone from the past enters and I feel the same amount of anger and betrayal that I felt on that day.

Somehow it still haunts me till this day.

The place was a swimming pool and I was having some conversations with friends when this ex Co worker emerges from the side and starts talking about work. Apparently I was working with her and seemed that she was a direct superior.

I remember feeling annoyed about some of her mandates and voicing out my opinion. Her face contorts to hatred and tells me to just do it because it is her mandate. I try to reason out a better way and she scoffs at it, telling me have I forgotten that I am no longer in charge. Maybe it pains me that I am not in charge but then again I feel that I swallowed my pride and was willing to start at the bottom again. At this point I don't have any pride.

She leaves and some of my co workers tell me to let it be. Why waste my energy when I can just follow and bow my head low. Ethics won't feed a hungry stomach they say. It will be my downfall again if I continue doing this.

She returns commanding us to surrender all our keys to the office and cabinets. I give up mine without second thoughts.

I go back to my office and wanting to get three journals I have there. A series of written accounts of meetings, ideas I was playing with while waiting for the stupid meetings to end, doodles and short stories written to bide my time. It was personal and I didn't want anyone looking at it.

I see the CCTV move and knew it was searching for me. Yet I boldly collect my journals because it is not as if I am stealing.

Guards stop everyone and searches their bags and I remember feeling angry that this was an invasion of my privacy. One of the guards sheepishly smile at me and proceeded to check.

I know he is just following instructions and doing his job but I could feel a tinge of betrayal as I am subjected to it.

I am informed to follow him to the security office and I remember getting madder. Then I woke up shaking.